Disrespectful husband an imbecilic ingrate

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This article was published 05/11/2019 (2462 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: Just a comment on the woman who overheard her husband describe her to a friend of his as “just a housewife.” (Miss L. told the lady that being a stay-at-home parent was a great multi-faceted career if one has the patience and energy for it.)

This man obviously doesn’t realize how good he has it. I’m surprised she didn’t run out and give him an earful in front of his friends and clue him in big-time.

I would never consider saying such an idiotic thing about the wonderful woman I married. Together, we have had two wonderful careers, raised two great kids, and balanced sports, concerts and a host of everyday things together. She’s the best thing that ever happened to me. Have a great day.

— Just Bob, Winnipeg

Dear Bob: Some men resent being the only wage-earner and carrying the weight of all the expenses of a family. I’m guessing this guy is one of them, but he wasn’t counting the money value of having a wife doing the child care — day, evening and night care, plus housecleaning, cooking, laundry, transportation for kids, counselling and refereeing daily kid problems — many expenditures they’d have to outsource if she went back to work full time. And Hubby would have to step up and do more work at home.

This upset wife said she was considering going back to her old career and frankly, with her husband’s attitude, she should probably consider going back half time. He needs to experience working in the home and with the kids to a much greater degree. He doesn’t appreciate what she does for the kids and himself, to the point where he’d describe her as “just a housewife” to his friend.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: Six years ago, I dumped a man who quickly took up with my younger sister and married her two years ago. I see him all the time, as this is a small town, and you have to get over things and live together in a kind of harmony. (OK, I’m not above dissing him to my closest girlfriends, I have to confess.)

Well, now I have broken up with the guy that I left him for, and he’s starting to pay me a lot of extra attention — even dropped in at my place on a flimsy excuse yesterday.

I had always suspected he still had a thing for me when he started dating my sister, who is somewhat like me, only shorter. I don’t want him, and never really did, or I wouldn’t have dumped his sorry behind in the first place.

What should I do about this?

— Love My Sister, Small-Town Manitoba

Dear Love My Sister: Don’t let this go on in silence. Tell him you notice he’s paying a lot more attention to you now that you’re single again, and you’re not the least bit interested in him. Tell him to back right off! Yes, be that blunt so he can’t tell himself you don’t really mean it and you’re just worried about your sister’s feelings.

He is definitely the persistent type and a tad weird. When he couldn’t have you, he went after your similar sister and married her, possibly to stay closer to you. Tell your sister he came over, as someone might have seen him drop in, and word tends to get around in small communities.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

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