‘Sister wife’ lark has already gone too far

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This article was published 10/08/2022 (1491 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I’ve been happily married for more than 20 years. My sister lost her partner a few years ago, so we have included her in many activities and have spent a lot of time together out at the lake. My husband has jokingly referred to her as “sister wife” after the TV show about polygamy, which we all found funny. But lately, these two seem to be sharing private jokes. Last weekend, I was out on my paddleboard, and they both jumped up and looked flustered and guilty when I suddenly returned to the dock. Now I’m worrying something has happened between them. What should I do now? Help!

— Not a Sister Wife! Fort Richmond

Dear Not: A “sister wife” is a term for a woman who openly shares one man with a number of women, sometimes in a polygamous marriage.

The “sister wife” joking may have led to your husband and sister thinking inhibitions had lowered in this little group of three.

Talk first with your husband and say you’re uncomfortable with how intimate everything was getting at the lake, and that the “sister wife“ idea, is definitely not on. Then talk to your sister and find out where she’s at with this.

Let her know this was an unfortunate joke. She needs to get that message clearly — as does your husband.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My girlfriend is a very attractive woman and gets hit on all the time. I hate it when we’re out, and men actually approach her, knowing we’re together. Basically, they try to make me look like a loser guy or a “beta.”

She loves the attention, but denies it. I’ve never actually caught her giving a guy the come-on, but somehow they get the message she’s available. It’s driving me crazy lately.

Is it worth staying with someone when you’re stressed almost every time you go out?

— Stressed by Girlfriend, North End

Dear Stressed: It’s interesting guys always get the idea your attractive girlfriend is available. But she may actually be doing something small, like dropping a certain look.

You’re feeling jealous every time you’re out with her. You’d no doubt enjoy a different woman’s company more, and might end up actually caring for her as well.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My 16-year-old son is working for me this summer, but when I was out of the office, and he was supposed to be answering phones, I figured out he’d really been watching porn on my work laptop.

I told him that was absolutely not happening ever again! He seemed to be very embarrassed, and promised he wouldn’t do it again. Well, lo and behold, he did it just one week later. He’s not very clever at hiding things, and forgot to delete the browsing history, so I found it right away. What do I do now?

— Dad of a Dull Crayon, St. James

Dear Dad: You thought Sonny had promised not to do it again, but he was actually only promising not to get caught again! Then, he was allowed right back on computer detail at your business? Have a talk with your son about porn, and how it can distort a guy’s mind about love and sex.

If there’s a shipping or cleaning aspect at your business, put your son on one of those details for the last few weeks of the summer. Don’t be a dull crayon yourself, Dad.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My wife seems to love the dog more than me. All her affection goes to our hairy little mutt. He’s cute, but I’m her husband. I thought I’d get a life of that kind of attention. Then along comes this rescue dog and she’s determined to give him all the love he never got as a stray.

I told her the other night that I’m OK with sharing her affections 50-50 with the mutt, and she just laughed and said, “Don’t be such a big baby!” What’s my next move?

— Beaten out by a Dog, St. Boniface

Dear Beaten Out: Try being serious about the lack of affection in your marriage, and how it makes you feel. Tell your wife it was partly her affectionate nature that won you over.

Don’t even mention the dog. Talk to her about how good things had been affection-wise in the past, and your desire to return to that kind of relationship. Let’s hope she gets it!.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

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