Foster ‘funny gene’ through positive pursuits

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This article was published 17/09/2022 (1467 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: My mother is very funny — she really could have been a comedian, if she hadn’t had us kids.

The other day I asked her why she was so funny and she said, “You’re old enough to know.” She told me her dad was an alcoholic and still drinking a lot when she was young. She said she was embarrassed to bring any kids home from school, so she was pretty lonely. To keep herself amused in her room, she set up her dolls and told them funny stories. She said she then started to be the funny one in school, which got her her first friends.

Suddenly it all made sense. She said she continued to play the clown for years — until she met my dad, who said to her, “You don’t have to be funny to keep me. I love the real you, underneath.”

I already know I inherited her funny gene — I’m the girl who makes everybody else laugh at school, but I don’t want to feel stuck in it, like my mom did. Please help!

— New Funny Girl, Winnipeg

Dear Funny Girl: There’s nothing wrong with being funny unless you start feeling trapped, like your mom sometimes felt. You can revel in and develop your own talent for comedy, and also take the pressure off yourself as the class clown, by joining an improvisation group. Many schools offer them, and theatre programs would, too. You’ll find other people with similar talent to yours there, so there will be less pressure to always be the funny one.

Improv classes are a great way to channel your inborn comedic energy, without driving your regular teachers crazy, and without giving in to pressure from classmates to be funny at inappropriate times.

Comedic talent can be developed in a lot of people, given inspiration and the chance. Good luck with it!

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I have a neighbour who tries to act like he’s my real buddy — when he’s out of work. I feel sorry for the guy, and give him odd jobs to do so he’ll have enough money to go out for a beer.

His wife works full-time as a nurse, and pretty much pays all the bills, as far as I can make out. When he does get a job for a while, my “buddy” kind of disappears.

My wife says “Why do you give that loser money? You never see him when he doesn’t need more cash!” My argument is it saves me time and energy if he takes chores off my hands that I hate, such as mowing, raking leaves, weeding and shovelling snow. There’s nothing I hate more than ice and snow, and it’s coming again in less than two months.

My wife says I’m just enabling him to be a worse drunk. She’s always going on to me about “that bum.” She just doesn’t get it! What should I tell her?

— Needing My Buddy Soon, Weston

Dear Needing: Your wife finds this drinker personally annoying; he gets under her skin. So, point out to her “that bum” is taking tiresome jobs off your hands that otherwise you’d be asking her to help with! She may start seeing a new value in him.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I have a slight stutter that I hate, but I don’t have it much around my closest friends and my family. My boyfriend thinks it’s the cutest thing, so I’m relaxed around him and don’t stutter much in his company.

He wants us to go out more, with his buddies and their girlfriends, but I’m shy to do that, as I’m afraid I’ll just stutter. Do you know any tricks to help me? I really like this guy.

— Stuttering Girlfriend, North End

Dear Girlfriend: If being new to folks makes you self-conscious and liable to stutter more, ask that your boyfriend introduce you to his friends one couple at a time — so you can get used to people — rather than throwing you in with a whole group of strangers.

One trick I know for helping with stuttering, I learned from watching comedian Steve Harvey, who had a stutter in his youth: Say a word you think you may stumble on three times silently in your head. Then say it out loud. Hope it works for you!

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

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