Unannounced visit sheds light on mom’s active sex life

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This article was published 21/06/2023 (1172 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I went to my mom’s house to drop off some early veggies from the garden, and I used the key she gave me to let myself in. There she was — sitting with a strange man at the breakfast table, and they had obviously just gotten up!

He had no shirt on and she was still wearing a robe. I backed up out the door, apologizing profusely, and ran to the car and raced home. A few hours later the phone rang and it was my mother, laughing. She said, “Don’t worry, dear. Your inheritance is safe. He isn’t a keeper!”

I must admit I’m shocked at my mother having a sex life, and with a guy who isn’t even a “keeper.” I wonder who else she has on the line. My mom is a young-looking woman in her early 60s. I want to ask her about her “social” life — but then, on second thought, I don’t want to know, either. Should I give her back her key?

— Shocked Daughter, the Maples

Dear Shocked: Lucky for you it sounds like your Mama has a good sense of humour!

In your case, it may be that she wants you to hang onto her key but you’ll certainly have to phone first when you’re coming over, in case she’s “entertaining” again. Sometimes she just may not want you to come by if she’s just enjoying some peace and quiet on her own.

It’s one thing for an older person to let a relative or friend have their key in case of an emergency, but if you possess that key, you should always try to call them on the phone first, as it’s still their private place.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m in my early 30s, educated, and I’m a cyclist who also loves to paint and sing. I’m good at lots of artistic pursuits. I’ve been trying to date online, as I feel it’s possible to encounter many more people than those I meet through work and my gym. But all I seem to attract is jocks, because in my photo, they can see I’m super-fit from cycling, and I list it as my favourite sport.

Will I ever find my Mr. Right? Do you think I should just give up and leave it to fate? I’ve been on plenty of dates I arranged online, but they’re either missing hair, or they drink, or they hate their job, or they’re just on a different wavelength, intellectually. I just don’t know what to do.

I always say online that I want a guy “with an education, who takes care of his body and has a social life of his own.” I don’t think that’s too much to ask for. Is it? I just don’t want to compromise.

—Multifaceted Woman, Selkirk

Dear Multifaceted: Forget “fate” when it comes to matchmaking! Fate only worked when people were at school or college or just plain young, and work life and the dating scene were flooded with people of the right age.

It’s time to try another method of smoking out “Mr. Right.” The best way to meet a guy suited to you is to show yourself off in real-life situations where you clearly express your personality and interests.

Since art is a major interest for you, you could set up an easel and do some creative work in a busy park. People of all ages — especially art lovers — will come by to see what you’re painting and maybe chat with you for a few minutes.

Or, you might take your easel to the beach this summer. People have nothing much to do after a swim, so they stroll and they’ll stop to look and talk to you about what you’re drawing or painting.

As for your love of singing, the Winnipeg Folk Festival is coming up next month and thousands of friendly people who love music will be there. Go to the smaller stages featuring workshops and sing-alongs to meet folks more easily. Don’t be shy! Be sure to sing your heart out, smile at people around you and make small talk about the festival.

If you’re often weekending in Winnipeg, check out the regular Corydon Avenue BIZ concerts and street dances. Friendly crowds of people bring chairs to different cross streets to hear bands of all styles play — country, blues, old and newer-style rock, and even old-time polkas. Sit near the dance area so people can ask you more easily to dance and so you can ask them! Check out the 2023 lineup of bands on the Corydon Avenue BIZ website (corydonbiz.com/concert-series-2023).

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

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