Both you and your pooch barking up the wrong tree

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This article was published 02/08/2023 (1093 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: My small male dog has a major crush on the larger female dog next door. Here’s where it gets awkward: I also have a little crush on the female dog’s owner.

My pooch gets out on the porch and yearns for her dog — whining and whimpering and jumping around like crazy when she’s out in her yard.

When they go to doggie daycare on the same day, he’s on this female’s case from the minute he gets there, according to the staff. She’s fixed and so is he, but this is bigger than hormones; he really loves that dog!

I suggested to my neighbour that we make a play date for our dogs. She looked me straight in the eye and told me she already had “a full-time job and a steady boyfriend.” So now what? I’m not the type to give up. What should I try next?

— Needing a New Move, Fort Rouge

Dear Needing: You and your hot-to-trot little dog, have a lot in common. You finally know the score, and you’ve been told rather coldly there will be no get-togethers. Yet, you still won’t give up. Both you and your canine need to get away from the home base and broaden your fields of interest.

It’s time you researched the possibilities for dog park socializing, other canine daycares and dog-and-owner training classes. They should be well away from your neighbour lady’s haunts with her canine.

“Don’t waste your time where you’re not wanted” is the lesson both you and your pup need to learn, so you can find amenable companions and happiness.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I regularly get little drop-in visits to my farm from my two old boyfriends, which is just great, as we’re old friends. This bothers my new husband as he’s only had one wife before me. He was true to her from age 18 until the day she died.

I know he finds it a bit upsetting that I still have old boyfriends as pals who “knew me” in the religious sense of the word, way before he did. He doesn’t say much about that, because he was darn happy to “know me” after his wife died, after he had thought he may never experience physical love again. He was too shy and religious to even chase a woman.

Luckily, I finally came along and chased him. So now he has me, and I spoil him, and he’s never had it so good. But he’s also stuck with my favourite old boyfriends dropping in here and there, and they always come bearing gifts. That drives him crazy. Yesterday he said, “Don’t you see what they want in return? They’re bringing gifts, woman!”

Last night it came to a head when an old beau dropped in, and brought a rose bush. When he finally left my husband said, “I can’t stand your old boyfriends coming over, and looking at you like they’re hungry.”

I asked, “What do you want me to do?” and he said, “Break up with them!” I said I did that years ago, and he replied, “But they haven’t broken up with you.”

I realize there was some truth in that, but do I owe it to my husband to cut them off, just like that?

— Lady With Old Friends, southern Manitoba

Dear Lady: Turn this around. How would you feel if your current husband had two women who still came over to see him, and always arrived bearing gifts for him? Wouldn’t you want to chase them off?

You have to know that the old boyfriends are not giving off friendly vibes toward your guy. How much of the conversation is actually directed at him?

If you want to have coffee with these guys and a catch-up talk, don’t bring them to the home you share with your husband.

And, if you’re going to have a phone chat, do it when you’re alone. That’s showing love and respect for the current man who loves you deeply, and lives with you.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

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