Let bitter brother embrace the dark side solo

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This article was published 17/10/2023 (732 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: My older brother, who’s 35, won’t let me enjoy Star Wars anymore, and he’s driving me nuts.

I’m his 31-year-old sister and I love watching all the new Star Wars movies and shows but I can’t so much as mention them around him without getting another self-righteous rant about how Disney is ruining Star Wars by flooding the market with it.

He used to love Star Wars himself but now he refuses to look at it and has to spout his blah-blah-blah criticism. I miss the times when we used to bond over Star Wars, but now it’s basically a taboo subject, unless I want to endure his negativity.

Who cares? If I like something, I just like it. Why must he pick it apart?

— Upset Star Wars Lover, Tuxedo

Dear Upset: The disenchantment with Star Wars was much like a relationship breakup for your brother. He feels betrayed and bitter because he used to be “in love” with the original Star Wars movies, and now Disney has changed it beyond his recognition.

Just like family members learn to avoid bringing up the past loves of their relatives, you have to let your big brother bitterly leave the original Star Wars fan club, and you can secretly enjoy its new incarnation. If you do some investigation, you‘ll be able to join new fan groups who love the new Star Wars, and you can start conversing with them. Just don’t bring them up with your brother!

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: A new neighbour just moved in recently, and we got talking while raking our lawns and garden patches. This is Winnipeg and everybody’s connected — it turns out she’s the sister of my gay auntie’s new younger lover, and they’ve begun living together!

My next-door neighbour seems to be a nice, level-headed person with a husband and one young child, so I believe her when she says this “newly minted” couple hasn’t got a prayer when her sister’s religious family finds out about them. They are deeply old-fashioned, and will get involved “to save their daughter’s soul.”

Yup, I definitely got an earful in one lawn-raking.

She is a really nice lady and a new friend, but what do I do with this worrisome information? Do I need to give my aunt a heads-up?

— Nervous for Her! St. James

Dear Nervous: It could be the new couple is expecting trouble coming down the pike very soon. When the out-of-town family blows up, and drives in to try to save the day, your aunt and her partner will need all the help they can get. They’d no doubt appreciate supportive friends and relatives who live nearby.

So make the connection now! Visit your aunt at her place soon and get to know her new love. You might even go there the first time with your new neighbour, so she can visit her sister.

Feeling awkward about just dropping in? Bringing a fall gift from the garden works any old time!

Family closeness and neighbourliness are making a comeback after a couple years of lonely pandemic living. We need each other as humans and can benefit greatly from helping each other out.

Let your aunt and her partner know they are not alone, and that friendship and support are just a few minutes away.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

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