Follow through on your creative gift offers

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 22/12/2023 (1015 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I’m embarrassed this Christmas because I don’t have a lot of cash to buy gifts. I’m an 18-year-old daughter, sister and aunt to quite a few kids in a big family.

I’ve always thought homemade gift certificates offering to do household chores were cute — for little kids to give out and forget about. But not so appropriate for people my age. I want to give gifts of real services to my close nephews and nieces.

I’m a good photographer, baker and guitar player and I’m good with computers. How can I make my presents be accepted as real, formal gifts, and not just as cop-outs?

— Sincere But Broke, southeastern Manitoba

Dear Sincere But Broke: Buy a box of Christmas cards and some printable card-stock you can decorate with festive designs, and print out what you are offering to each gift recipient. In your case, that could be services such as photographing the kids with their pets; baking and decorating the gift receiver’s favourite treats; or accompanying the receiver’s favourite songs on guitar with them singing, and even recording them if they want.

Make your gift offers showy on the tree. Roll up your certificates like scrolls, and tie them with big Christmas ribbons. Then tape them to a Christmas card with a fun and loving message from you.

As a sincere followup, find out when each recipient would like to “cash in” on their gift certificates.

Then, it’s up to you to call them after Christmas and confirm a solid date for actions.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m an artist and was intending to give my new girlfriend a sketch I drew of her as a special Christmas present. I spent many hours getting it right. She is a beautiful woman with wild, curly hair.

A week ago, I told a guy friend about doing it because he knows her, too. Later, he dropped in on me to confess: he blurted my surprise to her. He told me she was really hoping for jewelry, like a bracelet or something she could show off.

I felt something bad in the pit of my stomach, but not wanting to disappoint my new girlfriend, I went and bought her a bracelet — with no engraved words. I wasn’t feeling sentimental after being pushed to do it.

Now, I just feel upset. I feel like handing the bracelet to her and saying, “Here’s what you really want.”

— Can’t Win! St. James

Dear Can’t Win: The problem is not so much the new girlfriend, but this buddy who’s meddling.

It’s likely he has a crush on her himself and has managed to make things very uncomfortable between you and your girlfriend. He’s made her look shallow to you, and the gift issue has allowed him to run back and forth and start turning you off each other.

So try this: Phone your girlfriend and have a heart-to-heart about what seems to be going on. You two may decide that squeezing out this interfering third party could fix everything quickly.

And then, set about making it a fun and romantic Christmas together. Why not give your new girlfriend both the bracelet and your drawing of her? Hit a mall kiosk and get a sweet but playful inscription inside the bracelet.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

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