Get positive, proactive about continuing studies

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This article was published 19/01/2024 (940 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I don’t want to be poor when I grow up. I’m in Grade 12 and at the end of high school. I grew up in a family where no one ever had a higher education, or even tried to get one. We’re not stupid people, but nobody could afford it. I’ve had decent grades so far, but without more education, I’m headed for being one of the “working poor.”

I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to have to be “content” with my lot in life, the way my family is — always blaming everything else for their own lack of ambition. I feel the drive to do something, but no direction has come to me yet.

I went to this year’s Christmas family gatherings and everyone was complaining — excuses about why their work sucks and how it isn’t their fault. Money is already a problem for me. I haven’t done any extra-curricular activities in school because I’ve had to work evenings, just to have spending money.

Finally, I don’t want to fund my future on student loans, in case I end up with a mediocre job. Then all I’ve done is dig a big “debt hole” for myself! My older brother told me about that.

— Hopeless Situation? St. Boniface

Dear Hopeless: Starting now, do some research at your school and online to look into applying for the many scholarships and bursaries available to high school students in this province and across Canada. There are quite a number of them out there, and many go unclaimed, because nobody applied.

Your “job” is to fill out and send in applications on time. Plus, you must keep studying hard to get the best final marks possible. January is also a good month to walk into your school counselling office to ask for expert career guidance. Counsellors will quiz you about your career interests, favourite subjects, talents and hobbies. They’ll likely schedule you for aptitude tests as well.

As for your relatives rejecting student loans because you might not get a great job to pay them back, you’ve picked up that negative attitude from people who didn’t go to college themselves. The good news? Most people can pay off their student loans quite easily, because they have achieved the requirements for getting a good job in their field (or something else in a neighbouring one) that appealed to them. Good luck!

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My new-year resolution as a separated guy was to go out and have fun again. So, I bought tickets for two for a couple great concerts. One guy friend was glad to buy his ticket off me. Whew! My other concert partner, a woman, said, “Oh, I thought it was a gift!” so I ended up paying for both of us.

I’m a single-again dad of two children, and don’t have much extra money. I work days and see my kids Sundays — all day and overnight. I’m also a rock musician who used to play in bands before COVID. Frankly, I miss it — every single night. Any ideas for me to make a better life for myself and include music?

— Restless and Lonely Single Dad, St. James

Dear Restless: Out-of-work musicians — many who lost their gigs during COVID — are busy joining new groups now, and coming back to the playing scene. Many are looking for bandmates. Why not you? Since your marriage breakup, you’re freer to practise.

You could start your search by hitting bars and clubs to check bands out. Have business cards printed up with your contact info. Even if they don’t have a position open in their band, they may know bands who do, and can tell other musician friends about you. Can’t find a band to join? It might be time to start one of your own!

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

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