Sober second thought nixed sex for old times’ sake

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This article was published 06/02/2024 (970 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I was walking home from work and suddenly realized by the long red-gold hair on the tall girl in front of me that I must be walking behind a woman I used to date years ago when we went to the University of Winnipeg. I hurried to catch up, calling out my pet name for her. She turned around laughing and we had a big hug.

I asked her to go for a drink at a place nearby. That turned into dinner-with-shots, and some kissing in the booth. We were a hair away from going to my place. Sadly, she thought twice about it, and wouldn’t come over. We did exchange numbers, but now she won’t answer my phone calls or reply to my messages.

What the heck happened? I just need to find out so I can let this go. Why did she blow me off when we were having such a great time with each other again?

— No Idea! Osborne Village

Dear No Idea: Old lovers may start thinking sex for old times’ sake would be a fine idea, especially when they’ve just had a bunch of drinks and reminisced about the good old days. But you two broke up for a reason, and there were enough bad feelings to end things completely.

This old flame may have started having some red-flag flashbacks, or she may have a good relationship going now and wasn’t willing to really cheat.

So be a gentleman and just let this go. Enjoy the happy hour or two you had together, realizing that if your relationship was meant to be long-term, it wouldn’t have ended years ago.

You weren’t a good fit then, and this woman knows you’re not a fit now — at least not for her.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: My brother, who’s 19, broke up with his girlfriend right after Christmas. Good! They were not a good match because she’s a real hothead. But now that it’s over I want to ask her younger sister out, who is in Grade 11 like me. My brother says he’ll break my face if I try that.

Today he ordered me to stay away from his ex’s whole family. What business does he have trying to keep me away from his ex’s sister? I don’t want to ask his stupid ex-girlfriend out, so what’s the big deal? And, what if I did? He dumped her, didn’t he?

— None of His Business! southwestern Manitoba

Dear None of His Business: When two people break up, they don’t want their actions reported back to their exes. If you start dating the younger sister, then your brother won’t feel like he has total privacy from his ex as a new single guy starting to date other people.

So back off for a short time — even just another month. Give this situation a little time to cool down. Once your brother doesn’t mind what his ex hears, there will be no problem.

Of course, if you get serious and marry the younger sister one day, your brother will end up with his ex as a close relation. He may not thank you for that.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

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