Your blueprint for a mutually happy Valentine’s Day

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 08/02/2024 (923 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: For Valentine’s Day, I’m giving my love partner a copy of my plan for a house we will build — like, in the next five years — and I trust she will like it as much as I do! Trouble is, I told my dithering mother about this and she said, “That’s it?”

I said, “Yes! Isn’t that a big deal, Ma?” and she said, “Not really! You need to give your sweetheart something sweet and feminine too, not just the results of a project you did for a house.”

I felt let down! I put a lot of hours into this, and my girl and I will share the house for a lifetime, I hope. Who is right here — me or Mom?

— Architect One Day, Crestview

Dear Architect One Day: For a few dollars, cover all your bases! Forget debating with Mom over who’s “right” and trust your mom’s intuition here. She knows your mate, who might want something lovey-dovey as well as house plans — like roses or other flowers, as well a card with some loving words from you.

Present your sweetie with the flowers and the house plans nicely gift-wrapped and then you can look over the plans and see if she has any ideas for modifications. Best of luck!

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My new girlfriend purposely got me drunk and started asking about my old girlfriends. She already knew all their first and last names. I soon felt like I was on the stand in a courtroom.

Every question I answered got me into deeper trouble. Finally, I just buttoned my lip and said, “Go ask your informants for the rest!” Then she accused me of hiding important things about my life from her. As if there are any sneaky things that need hiding!

So I said, “Well then, let’s take turns.” I brought up the name of one of her exes — a guy who probably should have done jail time and I mentioned that. She narrowed her eyes and said, “How did you know about him? Have you been digging up my past?” I said, “Nope. Everybody who read the news, knew about that guy.”

Now she’s barely talking to me. We had great chemistry and a fun time together until now. Who’s in the wrong here? Should I just cut and run from this relationship? Do most couples share their full dating history, or is it a mistake to do that? Now, I feel kind of scared of her and her big mouth. I’m thinking she could be vicious, if pushed.

— Tricky Territory, Bridgwater

Dear Tricky Territory: People who are looking at someone new and exciting as a possible long-term love usually ask questions about each other’s life — about their families and the bare bones of their love relationship history. But they generally do it politely and don’t carry it out like an inquisition.

In fact, some people quietly research online for whatever they can find out about a prospective mate and their kin and never say anything about it. The real issue here is not past relationships and the character of former partners; it’s how people like you two, who have recently come together, handled your former relationships and breakups and learned from them.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

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