Plant seed to sprout a communal cornucopia

Opinion

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 11/03/2025 (194 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: My wife is a foodie and she’s freaking out about grocery prices and shortages with all this tariff foolishness.

She’s a noisy woman when she’s upset and she’s making me mad by yapping to all her friends and relatives about it constantly.

We live together in a small new house with a large backyard. So, why doesn’t she just plant a big garden there? She says she won’t be able to do it if I’m always going golfing and drinking with my friends all summer.

I told her I don’t like raking dirt, but I do love noisy machines and will happily dig up the soil in the backyard, and keep the grass cut low around her garden patch. I’m a good guy, but I will not be down on my knees planting a big vegetable garden and weeding it every three days.

My wife and I do agree on one thing: we both want to “plant” some kids, and fast. So, I suggested another plan — more hot sex, less hot gardening.

Plus, I’d be happy to hit different markets on weekends for fresh veggies. Then we could go home and work on starting our family. I’m prepared to make that time sacrifice.

She just laughed at me. How do we stop fighting and balance all these projects?

— Not a Gardener, West End

Dear Not a Gardener: People of all ages are going to be planting gardens this spring with new tariffs and rising food costs. It could be fun for your lady to plant a group garden with several girlfriends who also don’t have much for garden space.

You might also rent a garden tiller and help turn the soil and rake it to help get things going. Then her girlfriends could come and plant whatever fruits and veggies they want, and share some with you.

If they want to get together and do some community cultivating where they would meet a bunch of new gardening enthusiasts, it’s quite easy. Check with your local community club or the City of Winnipeg’s website (winnipeg.ca) for more info on community and allotment gardens.

You could even be proactive and make a list of community gardens for your beloved. Then you may have more together time this summer for other hopefully “fruitful” endeavours.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m a married guy and my ex-girlfriend, who moved back to town recently, keeps calling me when she knows I’m driving to work. I’ve told her to stop, but she just laughs wickedly and does it again soon anyway.

I don’t want to get back together with her, but she makes me crave her. Now I’m regularly dreaming about her and I wake up wanting her.

I feel so guilty. Should I talk to my wife about her?

— Guilty For Listening, North Kildonan

Dear Guilty For Listening: How would you like your wife to tell you about an old lover who calls her and tries to get her having erotic dreams and sexual cravings for him? And to boot, she’s letting him. Not a good feeling at all.

So first see a psychologist and talk your feelings out in private. You should also just block your ex from calling your phone, ASAP.

Hopefully, she’ll get the message you don’t want to hear her voice ever again.

If that doesn’t work, consult a lawyer and/or the police. You may need a court order to keep her a certain distance away and also barred from contacting you by phone or online.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.