You’d only regret not acting on longtime crush

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DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: For years I had a big crush on my older sister’s hot-looking best friend who was often over at our house. My sister found out about my crush and told me, “I’ll kill you, if you go after my friend!” I was crushed at the time, and kept my distance, although I still had erotic dreams about that girl a lot.

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DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: For years I had a big crush on my older sister’s hot-looking best friend who was often over at our house. My sister found out about my crush and told me, “I’ll kill you, if you go after my friend!” I was crushed at the time, and kept my distance, although I still had erotic dreams about that girl a lot.

This fall my sister is going to university out of province, and her friend is still here in Winnipeg, going to the same college as I am. I ran into her recently at a mall. She looked me up and down and said, “Wow!” Was she teasing me like a little boy or was she actually flirting with me now my sister’s out of the way?

More importantly, do I need my sister’s permission to ask out this friend of hers now she lives in Ontario? Please help!

— Still Awkward, But Interested, North Kildonan

Dear Interested: The reason your sister doesn’t want you dating her girlfriend? It can destroy the friendship between two friends if things go badly with a brother, and there’s an ugly break-up. Many people just barrel in anyway, especially if the sibling who’ll be upset has moved away!

However, this has been a longtime crush for you and you finally have this chance as the door seems to be opening for you. So you’re probably best to give it a shot. Otherwise, you’ll only regret it.

If it doesn’t pan out, that may be a good thing. But if it does work out in a big way, you might end up turning this woman into your sister’s new sister-in-law.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m a woman with a wonderful husband — a real animal lover. We have a collection of animals we call our children, and we live outside the city.

Recently, one of my older female friends came out to visit and criticized how we treat our animals. She got quite snarky! After the third sarcastic comment about our ”substitute children,” I said in my quiet-but-angry voice: “It’s getting late — time for you to go home!”

She said, “No, I’ll have one more nightcap!” I lost it and threw her coat at her, and said, “No! You’re drunk and getting rude, and it’s time for you to go.”

Finally, she left, roaring out our driveway.

This may be the end to this friendship that I’ve had for years. Now what?

— Still Not Sorry, Headingley

Dear Not Sorry: Guests need to respect limits. There’s no point in saying you’re sorry to this friend for hustling her out the door when you’re clearly not!

What’s really needed is a long talk with your partner about guest rules. For instance, what to do in the case of a guest disrespecting you or imbibing too much. You may also want to consider whom you’d be able to forgive if they apologized and meant it and what finally gets somebody stroked off your guest list, for good!

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

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