Colbert pokes fun at The Beaver

Advertisement

Advertise with us

CANADA'S history is being rewritten -- online, at least -- in terms so crude, it could make any Canuck blush with a patriotic tinge.

Read this article for free:


or

Already have an account? Log in here »

To continue reading, please subscribe:

Subscribe and receive a limited-edition Free Press branded hat or tote.

Digital Subscription

One year of digital access for only $205*

  • Enjoy unlimited reading on winnipegfreepress.com
  • Read the E-Edition, our digital replica newspaper
  • Access News Break, our award-winning app
  • Play interactive puzzles

*First annual payment billed as $205.00 + GST for one year. This annual subscription will automatically renew at $233.00 + GST every 52 weeks (10% off the regular annual price of $259.35). Offer available to new and qualified returning subscribers only. Cancel any time.

To continue reading, please subscribe:

Add Free Press access to your Brandon Sun subscription for only an additional

$1 for the first 4 weeks*

  • Enjoy unlimited reading on winnipegfreepress.com
  • Read the E-Edition, our digital replica newspaper
  • Access News Break, our award-winning app
  • Play interactive puzzles
Start now

*Your next Brandon Sun subscription payment will increase by $1.00 and you will be charged $17.95 plus GST for four weeks. After four weeks, your payment will increase to $24.95 plus GST every four weeks.

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 09/02/2010 (6031 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

CANADA’S history is being rewritten — online, at least — in terms so crude, it could make any Canuck blush with a patriotic tinge.

On his late-night TV show last week, satirist Stephen Colbert took aim at Winnipeg-based magazine The Beaver, which announced last month it was changing its moniker after 90 years because some search engines were weeding it out, believing it was pornography due to its name.

The publication is rebranding itself as the less suggestive Canada’s History, starting in April.

But what Canadians don’t know, the comedian joked Thursday on The Colbert Report, is in America "Canada’s history" is a euphemism "for a sex act so depraved," it can’t be described on television.

The unspeakable act, apparently, "involves moose antlers, a jug of maple syrup and the Stanley Cup."

The comedian then invited his audience to "redefine Canada’s history in the most jaw-dropping terms imaginable," on urbandictionary.com, a Wikipedia-like web page that allows users to submit definitions for words and slang.

"Just put everything in there," said Colbert, who portrays a conservative pundit on his show.

"Putting everything in there, by the way, is the hardest part of performing Canada’s history."

Thirty-six hours later, there were 521 listed entries — each with increasingly vulgar descriptions.

This isn’t the first time Colbert has taken a slapshot or two at Canada. He’s dubbed us "syrup suckers," "iceholes," and "Saskatche-whiners," after the U.S. speedskating team couldn’t get ice time for training at the Olympic Oval.

But Colbert and his fan base may not be the only ones getting their digs in with this most recent effort — one entry describes the U.S. version of the unspeakable deed as "a night with Sarah Palin."

— Canwest News Service

Report Error Submit a Tip

More Stories

Proposed Transcona development — which could add 20,000 people — gets thumbs down from residents

Joyanne Pursaga 5 minute read Preview

Proposed Transcona development — which could add 20,000 people — gets thumbs down from residents

Joyanne Pursaga 5 minute read 6:15 PM CDT

Dozens of Winnipeggers fear plans to make way for up to 20,000 more people to live in south Transcona would dramatically alter their neighbourhood and tie hefty fees for new services to their property titles.

If city council adopts the proposed South Transcona secondary plan, all future development applications would need to conform to its goals. The affected area is located south of Dugald Road, north of St. Boniface Road, east of Plessis Road and west of Murdock Road.

Homeowner Virginia Page Jähne fears the plan could add a massive tab to the title of her 4.3-acre property to cover services required for the development.

“My main concern is that they are wanting to put $1.4 million onto my title to pay for this. Now, they say that I will not have to pay it unless I subdivide. But if a person comes by and wants to buy from me … and they see that $1.4 million … what’s the first thing (they’re) going to do?” said Page Jähne, in an interview.

Read
6:15 PM CDT

Sea Bears staff a who’s who of hustlers in the hoops community

Joshua Frey-Sam 7 minute read Preview

Sea Bears staff a who’s who of hustlers in the hoops community

Joshua Frey-Sam 7 minute read 6:09 PM CDT

Ilarion Bonhomme was admittedly surprised when he got the call.

Not because he wasn’t confident in his ability to take the next step, but because he knew there were so many other qualified options.

On the other side of the line was newly minted Winnipeg Sea Bears head coach Mike Raimbault, offering the young coach a spot on his staff for this summer and Bonhomme a full-time opportunity to work with professionals.

“Surprised me, yes, because obviously he’s got such a huge coaching network and he had so much conversation with so many coaches,” Bonhomme said. “For him to kind of pick me to be part of it, yeah, I was surprised and, like I said, super excited.”

Read
6:09 PM CDT

‘No CUSMA, no booze-ma’: Kinew

Malak Abas 3 minute read Preview

‘No CUSMA, no booze-ma’: Kinew

Malak Abas 3 minute read Wednesday, Aug. 12, 2026

With the next round of tariffs set to hit Canadian goods next week, and a new report suggesting Manitobans could be severely impacted if the Canada-U.S.-Mexico agreement on trade breaks down, Premier Wab Kinew pledged Wednesday to keep working with the U.S. ambassador — and keep American booze off Manitoba shelves, for now.

Read
Wednesday, Aug. 12, 2026

Strike mandate for Dynacare workers

Free Press staff 1 minute read Preview

Strike mandate for Dynacare workers

Free Press staff 1 minute read Yesterday at 2:01 PM CDT

Nearly 350 laboratory technicians and technologists at Dynacare’s 22 laboratory and health services centres in Manitoba have voted in favour of a strike.

The Manitoba Association of Health Care Professionals, which represents the employees, said in a news release that 99 per cent of members who voted supported going on strike. A strike notice has not been served to the employer. If and when that occurs, the union is required to give two weeks’ notice.

The collective agreement between the union and Dynacare ended March 31. Negotiations between the parties began in February and they have been in mediation since July 15. They’ve been unable to reach a tentative agreement through mediation, and there are no further bargaining or mediation dates scheduled, the union said in a news release.

Dynacare became Manitoba’s only private outpatient provider for laboratory services in 2017, after purchasing competitor Unicity Labs. The union said Manitoba government records show Dynacare members completed more than 15 million laboratory tests in the 2024-25 fiscal year.

Read
Yesterday at 2:01 PM CDT

Inmate captured after escape from Manitoba jail

Free Press staff 1 minute read Preview

Inmate captured after escape from Manitoba jail

Free Press staff 1 minute read Updated: Yesterday at 1:46 PM CDT

Manitoba RCMP have arrested an inmate who escaped from Milner Ridge Correctional Centre Wednesday.

Mounties apprehended Justin Paul at about 11 a.m. Thursday near Highway 11 and Minnewawa Street W in Lac du Bonnet.

Court records show Paul was in custody charged with multiple offences, including assault, uttering threats, robbery, theft and numerous weapon offences.

Last April, Paul pleaded guilty to failing to appear in court and was sentenced to six months probation.

Read
Updated: Yesterday at 1:46 PM CDT

Pitcher Bourassa picks up where he left off after return from Mexican club

Mike McIntyre 6 minute read Preview

Pitcher Bourassa picks up where he left off after return from Mexican club

Mike McIntyre 6 minute read 2:20 PM CDT

Landen Bourassa didn’t need two months in Mexico to appreciate Manitoba. The Alberta product, who now lives here full-time, was already a big fan.

But a “unique” experience this summer certainly didn’t hurt.

The veteran Winnipeg Goldeyes pitcher took a professional detour to pursue an intriguing opportunity. Now he’s back on familiar soil, ready to help the Fish make a run at an American Association championship.

“It definitely was bittersweet to be leaving everybody here and leaving home, but you do things to be challenged. And that was a really good challenge,” Bourassa told the Free Press this week at Blue Cross Park.

Read
2:20 PM CDT