Celebrity Season: Chelsea Handler

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 09/07/2011 (5550 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Don’t get too close to this woman — she’ll just mess with you.

That’s the message that most sane people would take from reading this collection of experiences supposedly written by the friends, co-workers and family members of American comedian Chelsea Handler.

The pretty, potty-mouthed blond bombshell, whom many would see as a female version of radio shock-jockey Howard Stern, is best known for her hit comedy show, Chelsea Lately, on E! Cable Television Network.

However, Handler is also experienced with the written word. She writes a monthly column for women’s magazine Cosmopolitan, and she is also the author of three comic memoirs.

But this latest book isn’t completely written by Handler herself, although she contributes an introduction as well as commentary on the end of each chapter.

Rest assured, Handler fans, this book contains just as much sex, body and toilet humour as her other books.

There are 13 chapters, credited to Handler’s contemporaries such as Amy, her “lesbian stylist,” co-worker Johnny Kansas, a.k.a. “Baby Bird,” two of her brothers and one of her sisters, fellow friends and comedians — and even her dog, Chunk.

According to them, Handler loves to pull pranks on people, and her talent for lying makes her a force to be reckoned with.

But the contributors also insist that despite everything, Handler is a loyal, loving and generous friend.

As Handler’s stylist says of her, “everyone in Chelsea’s life is there for two reasons: she loves them, and they are willing to be humiliated.”

Several contributors recall embarrassing emails that Handler has sent from their accounts when they’ve been away from their desks.

One describes how Handler pretended to be pregnant, for several weeks, while openly drinking, smoking and eating sushi.

Several contributors tell wry tales about her drunken and sexual escapades; one of her co-workers describes Handler as “a highly functioning, over-sexed, drunken chimpanzee.”

As always with Handler’s books, it’s difficult to tell just how much of the stories are true, and at what point the fiction starts.

However, it’s much more fun to imagine that all these escapades do happen, than to worry about whether or not they are true.

The biggest flaw with the book is that most of the contributors try to sound like Handler, and don’t always succeed.

Handler has an uncanny and endearing way of discussing the dirtiest subjects in a way that comes off as funny and not overly offensive. These contributors, not so much.

In fact, the best parts are Handler’s brief sound-offs at the end of each chapter about the writer and the writer’s contribution.

Handler fans will notice recurring characters from her other books, such as her sisters Simone and Shana (using their real names for the first time in this collection), as well as contributions from co-stars on Chelsea Lately, such as Heather McDonald.

The question that will perplex everyone who reads this book is why anyone would put up with Handler’s exploits in the name of friendship?

This could be because every contributor (even the dog) describes Handler treating her staff to lavish dinners, parties and even vacations. It seems that people in Hollywood will subject themselves to any humiliation to cash in on those.

Wouldn’t you?

Kathryne Cardwell is a Winnipeg writer.