Musings on MS a moving, spirited read

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 29/03/2025 (560 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

With one million people living with Multiple Sclerosis (MS) in North America, the potential audience for this insider’s look at the affliction is huge. But Fallosophy: My Trip Through Life with MS is not just for people with MS, their friends, families and caregivers. This frank, enlightening book should be read by anyone who knows little or nothing about MS or any other long-lasting disease.

At age 23, Ardra Shephard was working a “placeholder” job in “fluorescent-lit corporate purgatory” and dreaming of a career as an opera singer when eye pain led her to Hamilton’s McMaster Hospital. There she found out there was a 50 per cent chance she had MS.

That diagnosis was soon confirmed. Shephard was one of 12 new cases diagnosed every day in Canada — a country with one of the highest rates of MS in the world. Women like her, between 20 and 40, are most prone, and women are 2-3 times more susceptible than men. Causes and cures are still unknown.

On her first official day with MS, Shephard decides “to live my life the same way I always thought I would, without concessions.” But a beach vacation in the hot sun exacerbates her symptoms; she develops what’s known as a “pseudo-relapse,” and her troubled trip through life with MS begins scarily.

Early on, Shephard describes herself as “(m)outhy and extroverted and opinionated,” and that’s the image she projects throughout as she chronicles the important highs and lows of her 25-year ordeal. She continues singing and taking lessons until she can’t. Then, needing a new sense of purpose, she takes an inventory of her other talents and decides to start a blog on MS.

The blog, Shephard reckons, will present the “practical inside scoop” on MS from a woman’s point of view. It will be a way for her to, as she says, “push back against the assumptions and misconceptions about what it means to live with MS.” The blog won’t be about “the tragedy that is my life;” rather, it would be a rom-com, and be “pretty and pink and fun” because that’s what she is.

The blog, Tripping on Air, debuts in 2015; the 52 chapters of Fallosophy are based on that successful blog.

The chapters are anecdotal and short — usually three or four pages in length. Each one springs from something significant that happened to her. Shephard develops bowel/bladder problems; she goes to Poland for “liberation therapy” (it fails); she meets an MS friend; she and her husband have to find a new, accessible condo; a stranger wants to pray over her; other strangers ask rude questions; she decides to get a chic, new rollator (walker); she creates and hosts a TV show for the disabled called Fashion Dis. And so on.

All of this is conveyed with frankness, humour and uncommon insight.

Shephard is not easy on herself or her doctors. Only one doctor is given her full name; others are called, for instance, Dr. Poker Face or Dr. Muppet (amusing, but perhaps also done for legal reasons). She calls out the problems and inefficiencies in the medical system, frustrated with the way she has to insist on things or find out things for herself.

Since Fallosophy is based on a blog, it’s not as coherent as a memoir could be. Some chapters aren’t as strong as others, as if she temporarily runs out of material or inspiration. But her best chapters are so clear, heartfelt and helpful that minor glitches can be quickly passed over.

Ardra Shephard is a gifted, relatable writer. Her frequent usage of F-bombs might stun or offend some readers, but her indomitable spirit in dealing with MS shines brilliantly throughout. Fallosophy is a valuable addition to the growing list of books on disability.

Gene Walz is still dealing with the effects of a stroke and can relate to Ardra Shephard’s situation.