Weinstein rape accuser wrote a note to herself. It ended up in evidence

NEW YORK (AP) — Harvey Weinstein ‘s accuser struggled on the witness stand at his rape retrial Thursday after being confronted with a previously undisclosed, soul-searching note she wrote to herself two days after the alleged assault in 2013. Court ended early for the day.

Jessica Mann straightforwardly answered questions about the missive, in which she described becoming “emotionally attached” to someone and wanting a loving partnership. Weinstein’s defense pointed out that she wrote nothing about having allegedly been raped.

Court wrapped up for the day, about 45 minutes earlier than planned. Mann is due back Friday for a fifth day.

Thursday’s early end came after questions turned to the alleged assault in a Manhattan hotel room, and Mann said she was feeling “spacey” from the difficulty of testifying. The court took a break, but soon after Mann returned, she said she felt “dissociated” and sensed she wasn’t hearing properly because of stress. The 40-year-old later told the judge she hadn’t gotten much sleep.

It’s the third time Mann has testified against Weinstein, 73. He was initially convicted in 2020, but an appeals court overturned that verdict for reasons unrelated to her testimony. The jury at his first retrial, last year, didn’t decide the rape charge.

Mann, a hairstylist and actor, has acknowledged the two had a consensual, on-again-off-again sexual relationship. She alleges it degenerated into rape in New York in March 2013 and again some months later in Beverly Hills, California. Weinstein has never been charged with any crime related to the California allegation.

“He just treated me like he owned me,” Mann told jurors this week.

Weinstein’s lawyers maintain that everything that happened between the two was consensual and part of a supportive, caring relationship. They say Mann benefited from associating with an Oscar-winning producer, only later accusing him after allegations about him powered the #MeToo movement against sexual misconduct. He denies sexually assaulting anyone.

The sketchy, journal-like note that came up in court Thursday was written on March 20, 2013. Mann had just returned to her Los Angeles home from New York, where she says Weinstein forced himself on her. She had gone on to see him socially, at one point marking his March 19 birthday by having tea with him and his daughter.

In the missive, Mann mused about budding feelings of attachment in a nonexclusive relationship with a man she didn’t name. She reflected on how she wanted a mutual and loving relationship and said her feelings toward the unnamed man were creating inner conflict for her. She talked about questioning the “woulds and would nots” she had set for herself.

After describing fears of rejection, and being a “’bad’ person,” she appealed for God’s guidance.

“I know that I was struggling with some of the decisions I was making that were different than what I was raised with,” Mann explained in court, adding that there was “a lot going on at this time in my life.”

Emphasizing a passage about seeking love and freedom, she testified that “I was feeling very controlled.”

Through questions, Weinstein attorney Teny Geragos suggested that the note reflected Mann’s feelings about being involved with the then-married Weinstein.

It’s been clear through three trials that those feelings were complicated.

Mann testified Wednesday that despite the alleged rape, she loved “a part of him” because Weinstein could be kind and encouraging about her personal struggles and professional dreams, and that the two had “some pretty human moments” together.

“What did he do for you that made parts of you really love him?” Geragos asked.

“It was the validation,” Mann said.

When Geragos went on to ask about the “human moments,” Mann said she once slapped Weinstein, thinking he was inviting it as sex play, but that he later told her, “Jess, that’s not you.”

“So when you were talking about the validation that you received … and the human moments that you shared with Harvey, it was that you slapped him?” Geragos asked.

Mann said she instead was referring to his remark that “that’s not you.”

Mann and Weinstein met at a Los Angeles-area party around early 2013. At the time, she was a financially struggling but aspiring to make it big in show business.

The Associated Press does not identify people who say they have been sexually assaulted unless they agree to be named, as Mann has done.