Get ready to go ape… again

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 05/03/2017 (3501 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Movies

BIG RELEASES FRIDAY: Kong: Skull Island

BIG PICTURE: We’ve been lost here before: an island in the South Pacific “where myths and science meet.” Only Skull Island replaces the Smoke Monster with King Kong, and Hurley and John Locke with John C. Reilly (sporting the beard of the year) and John Goodman. This Kong franchise reboot finds a surveying team — including Tom Hiddleston (Norse god versus Ape god) — mapping a mysterious island by dropping high-tech explosives on it. They quickly run into a local resident who is big trouble. (Somehow, satellites failed to notice a mutant ape the size of a large building all these years.) The island even has its own “Others” (followers of Kong). It turns out the giant ape doesn’t smile much, but he’s a relatively benevolent ruler (like Queen Elizabeth, only with more hair and fewer hats). He’s not a fan of people who drop bombs on his home, and for good reason. The blasts wake up giant “skull crawlers” (scaly, many-legged beasts who slumber beneath the island’s uncanny soil). Soon, it’s essentially man and monster versus other monsters. By the way, Kong looks like a cross between of Harry from Harry and the Hendersons (1987) and Caesar from the Planet of the Apes reboot series (if such a creature subsisted on a diet of steroids and growth hormones).

FORECAST: Shake Kong’s paw, this one looks like fun. I’m hoping the movie ends with the team relocating the ape king to the mainland to rule the United States. At this point, that would be a massive leadership upgrade.

TV

BIG EVENTS: Kicking and Screaming (Thursday, 8 p.m., Fox), Amy Schumer: The Leather Special Comedy (Tuesday, Netflix)

BIG PICTURE: Kicking and Screaming is a new reality survival competition that pairs outdoor survival experts with “pampered partners” and strands them in a remote, untameable paradise. It’s like watching the popular kids from high school humiliated on national TV. (I would have been excited about this show if it had been set on Skull Island). Meanwhile, there’s a new standup special from the leading lady of comedy, so cheer up.

FORECAST: Schumer will deliver genuine comedy, as opposed to Kicking and Screaming’s cringe-inducing comedy of errors.

Music

BIG RELEASES FRIDAY: The Shins (Heartworms), Hurray for the Riff Raff (The Navigator)

BIG PICTURE: The Shins’ fifth studio album is their first since 2002, and long overdue. Few indie rockers can so effortlessly blend joy, sarcasm, witticism, melody and lush instrumentation. Frontman James Mercer also produces most of the tracks. The song Name for You is all about female empowerment (inspired by the singer’s trio of daughters), while songs such as Fantasy Island and Dead Alive sound like they should be on the Kong: Skull Island soundtrack. (Speaking of, I’d hate to see the size of the big ape’s heartworms). After their addictive folk-and-blues soaked breakthrough in 2014, the Riff Raff rock out, navigating in new directions. Alynda Segarra’s lyrics are infused with social-justice messages.

FORECAST: Another Shins success will finally lead to long-awaited (by me) copycat bands such as Femur, Tonsil, Clavicle and Lateral Cuneiform Bone. You’ll be shouting, “Hip, hip, hurray” for this Riff Raff.

HONOURABLE MENTION: Amelia Curran (Watershed). This is the St. John’s singer-songwriter’s take on the misogyny women face in the music industry, and includes the single No More Quiet. With any luck, Mercer’s daughters will grow up, form a band and someday be able to put out an album called Everything is Equal, featuring the single It’s All Good.

Twitter: @chrislackner79