Cracking the bro code Winnipeg prof’s study of male bonds highlighted in Secrets of Friendship documentary By: Eva Wasney Posted: 6:00 AM CDT Wednesday, Mar. 22, 2023

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This article was published 22/03/2023 (1076 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Friendships are as meaningful as they are mysterious.

The human and animal dynamics of the “most voluntary relationship” will be explored this Friday in an episode of CBC’s The Nature of Things entitled, The Secrets of Friendship. The program — which highlights research into the social lives of monkeys, dolphins, dogs and toddlers — includes a segment on a first-of-its-kind study about male friendships led by University of Winnipeg social psychologist Beverley Fehr.

“I was really intrigued to learn about friendships in other species,” Fehr says of the range of topics featured in the 44-minute documentary. “I do all my work with humans… and I was left with a sense of awe about the universality of friendships, that they just seem to be really important among all living beings.”

Fehr started studying platonic relationships as a graduate student and is the author of Friendship Processes, a book that looks at how humans make, keep and lose friends. Her current study was born out of an interest in the differences between how men and women “do friendships.”

“Women’s friendships tend to revolve around talking about personal issues, relationship issues, and men are more likely to do activities together,” she says. “The other finding in the literature is that women report being happier and more satisfied in their friendships than do men.”

Fehr wondered if a lack of deep conversation among male friends was contributing to lower levels of satisfaction. A bet with a hockey-playing colleague helped inform the structure of her study.

“That bond when friends are playing hockey, he said, is more impactful than any heart-to-heart that women might have,” Fehr says. “And I was really convinced that opening up would be the most impactful.”

To find out which activity led to closer friendships, Fehr invited roughly 150 sets of male friends into her lab to engage in small talk, watch sports highlights, play a video game or ask each other personal questions. Participants were then asked to rate how close they feel with their companion.

While there’s still more data to be collected, intimate conversations seem to have a slight edge over game playing.

Last summer, Fehr opened her lab on the university campus to the Secrets of Friendship film crew.

“I was really excited that The Nature of Things, which, to my mind, is such a high calibre, highly respected series, that they would pay attention to this topic,” she says, adding that interest in the field has grown throughout her career and particularly amid the COVID-19 pandemic.

Executive producer Judith Pyke set out to capture the work of a wide array of “friendship detectives” from around the world.

“(Professor) Fehr has been studying friendship for decades, and brings a wealth of knowledge to the film,” Pyke, who was born in Winnipeg, says via email. “I hope viewers will come away delighted and fascinated by what these scientists are learning and sharing with the world.”

Likewise, Fehr hopes the show will prompt audiences to think about their own friendly bonds.

“They’re the most voluntary tie and because of that it’s easy to just let some of our friendships slip or maybe not put in the time and effort to… form that kind of deep personal connection,” she says. “And yet, when we do that it’s just so beneficial… to our physical and emotional well being.”

eva.wasney@winnipegfreepress.com

Twitter: @evawasney