Some coolers are cooler than others

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 01/06/2018 (2997 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

A couple of weeks back, I diligently tasted my way through a handful of the many ciders, shandies and flavoured beers that have landed in our market just in time for warmer weather.

But if it’s June, that also means we’ve officially entered the season of coolers — pre-packaged drinks dubbed “refreshment beverages” typically based on some sort of hard alcohol and featuring any and all manner of flavours.

And while there’s still a massive number of frighteningly sweet coolers in our market that taste like iced tea or pop or some imaginary fruit conceived in a marketing boardroom — rockaberry or wildberry, anyone? — there’s also a growing number of pre-packaged refreshment beverages based on classic cocktails, or that are taking a decidedly less artificial approach.

Unless noted, most of the following drinks tasted here should be available at Liquor Marts as well as beer vendors.

For many of these new pre-mixed cocktails, less is more — at least in terms of calories.

The Cottage Springs Distillery Lemon Lime Vodka Soda (Muskoka, Ont. — $2.65/355ml can) clocks in at just 99 calories per serving and five per cent alcohol. It has absolutely no colour, and aromatically, brings a simple vodka note with the slightest whiff of citrus. The lemon-lime components are slightly more apparent, flavour-wise, but they’re still pretty subtle. While this might come in handy for camping or other such summer activities, it would take all of about 30 seconds to make a similar drink from vodka, soda and lemon and/or lime and get a more flavourful result. ★★

The Social Lite Pineapple Mango (Whitby, Ont. — $9.99/4x355ml cans) is a similar low-calorie vodka-based drink, clocking in at a mere 80 calories and four per cent alcohol. This one features the addition of pineapple juice concentrate, meaning that while it’s also devoid of colour, it brings a decidedly tropical note on the nose. Flavour-wise, it tastes like pineapple-flavoured Life Savers candies — major childhood nostalgia for me — but without loads of sweetness. It brings a touch more flavour than their Lemon Cucumber Mint offering in this same line. ★★½

In addition to low-calorie (and in some cases, low-flavour) vodka-based refreshment beverages, there are also a growing number of gin-based pre-made cocktails on shelves these days — particularly riffs on the classic gin and tonic.

The Cabana Coast Cucumber Gin and Tonic (Toronto — $3.75/473ml can) is also colourless, and aromatically, the cucumber component is even more potent than the botanicals typically found in gin. The flavours are a bit more balanced on the palate, although lovers of classic gin and tonics will find this a bit on the sweet side. At seven per cent alcohol, it’s also got a bit of kick. Decent for the patio. ★★½

The Muskoka Docker Gin & Tonic (Bracebridge, Ont. — $3.49/473ml can, Quality Inn beer vendor), meanwhile, is pale gold in colour and slightly hazy, thanks to the addition of the “all-natural tonic made with real cinchona bark.” Like the Cabana Coast, it features cucumber and lime, although aromatically, it’s the cucumber that once again pops out. Flavour-wise, this is far closer to a classic gin and tonic, and the natural tonic syrup used (instead of cane sugar) seems to have ramped up the flavours big time. The botanicals of the gin also show nicely on the palate, and at just four per cent alcohol it’s certainly not a chore to enjoy a whole can on a hot day. I’ve had my share of gin and tonics at lounges that don’t hold a candle to this. Recommended — and only available at the Quality Inn beer vendor on Pembina Highway at Grant Avenue. ★★★★

The Georgian Bay Gin Smash (Toronto — $3.49/473ml can) brings gin as well as lemon, lime, tangerine and mint and is billed as “Lightly carbonated. Not too sweet.” It’s devoid of colour, but not of aroma, as the mint jumps out of the glass with just a small hint of citrus. On the palate, it’s not too sweet — as advertised — but the lemon and lime flavours are explosively tart, bordering on mouth-puckering, and overwhelm all but the slightest hint of mint. There’s intensity above and beyond the five per cent alcohol; an ice cube or two would help dial back the racy citrus flavours. And if you enjoy sour flavours (as I do), this one is right up your alley. ★★★

The Crafty Elk Hard Juice Cranberry, Blueberry & Acai (London, Ont. — $3.75/341ml bottle) is organic and brings all sorts of natural flavouring including many fruit concentrates, spices and more (it also delivers 90 per cent of your daily recommended intake of vitamin C, for what it’s worth). It’s deep pink in colour — think the same look as a darker dry rosé wine — and aromatically, it passes a strong resemblance to fresh cranberries (although that’s not one of the fruit concentrates in here). This one’s not sparkling like the rest tasted here, and is fairly sweet, losing the cranberry vibe, flavour-wise, but retaining the blueberry component. It’s a nice alternative to the many artificially flavoured pre-packaged cocktail-type beverages. ★★★

uncorked@mts.net

Twitter: @bensigurdson