Ignore gossip, be good till girlfriend’s back

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I am lonely to the bone. My girlfriend has been away working for the summer, and I promised I wouldn’t cheat on her. But now I have heard through the grapevine she’s seeing a guy who works at her kids’ camp.

I think the source can be trusted, because she’s a friend who cares about me, almost like a sister. Actually I think she kind of wants me herself, but never seems to cross that line. Should I believe her “inside information” when she might be wanting to go out with me herself?

My girlfriend won’t be back until the very end of August and the messages and phone calls back and forth have been less and less frequent. Maybe she’s just busy or getting rested up to see me — or maybe she’s seeing someone else. I’m feeling jealous and I hate it! Maybe I should see somebody else too. Please advise ASAP.

— Lonely and Suspicious, Transcona

Dear Lonely and Suspicious: Get a grip, my friend! Your girlfriend will probably be back in your arms in two weeks. If you cheat on her at this point, you are just not thinking straight. Gossip gets around in no time.

If you’re not careful, you could lose the girl you love, so just hang in there until she’s back in your life, and see if everything feels right again. You will probably know if something’s off and she seems nervous or distant, like she’s hiding something.

Then just ask her to speak from the heart about how she’s feeling about the summer and you two as a couple. It may feel easier not to ask, but that would just prolong the agony if you feel something’s off and you don’t address it until you really feel sick.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m a male university student and worked out of province for the summer. I decided to grow my red hair out for once in my life and I soon had a thick ponytail which I found out women like to braid and brush. I’ve grown to like the attention where I work at the beach!

My problem is I want to keep my long hair when I go back to university this fall. I always bugged my sports buddies with long hair, and now they’re going to have a big laugh at me! But now I know women love it and want to get their hands on me, and that’s what really counts. I never had any trying to run their fingers through my buzz cuts! My question to you: Should I cut my long hair before I go back to university?

— Enjoying Attention, Northwestern Ontario

Dear Enjoying: If you can put your winning hair under any headgear you need for your sports at university, why not continue to be a hit with the women when you get back to studies? If you know what wins — just like in competitive sports — go for it! As for people teasing you about your long hair, learn how to flip it back good-naturedly and continue to enjoy the admiring attention.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’ve been stuck in the city all summer working at a very popular new business. The boss and I have had a lot of fun making it grow, and he’s ready to expand this fall. He’s asked me to suggest some people I know who would be good additions to our sales staff.

I do know some crackerjack sales people — mostly women — but don’t want to give up any of the fabulous money I’m making. Also my boss is single and lonely, and a smart woman could wind him around her finger in terms of getting good territory. I need advice right now!

— Greedy Guy? Winnipeg

Dear Greedy: Rather than sitting on information about good salespeople that’d help expand the business quickly, trust that new hires will bring in sales of their own. If you are doing well getting new customers in a certain territory, make a deal with your boss that helps you expand to as much area as you can handle. But don’t be so greedy you’re run ragged serving a giant area and can’t do the kind of job that keeps customers happy and calling you.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

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