Coach’s victim haunted by depression, alcoholism; took his own life By: Katie May Posted: 4:57 PM CDT Friday, Jul. 14, 2023

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 14/07/2023 (784 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

One of nine victims who went to police to report that their football coach had sexually abused them, died by suicide last year after turning to alcohol to deal with his nightmares, guilt and paranoia.

After being sexually assaulted by high school coach Kelsey Albert Dana McKay in 2006, the man experienced post-traumatic stress disorder and depression. He became an alcoholic, and after he started talking about what McKay had done to him, he began to abuse drugs and experience suicidal tendencies, according to a statement of facts that became part of the public court record in McKay’s case Thursday.

A second victim disclosed he had attempted suicide multiple times, and a third talked about turning to alcohol to cope with what McKay had done to him and how he can no longer trust anyone.

The lasting impact on McKay’s victims has begun to come to light following McKay’s guilty plea Thursday to nine counts of sexual assault and two counts of luring in relation to teenage victims he had coached. He’ll be sentenced at a later date, at which point his victims will have a chance to submit impact statements.

Ex-high school coach pleads guilty to sexually assaulting teens

He admitted guilt more than a year after one of his victims killed himself. The death occurred after charges were laid against McKay, and after reporters had tracked him down and asked him to discuss his complaint, says the statement of facts entered in court.

“(The victim), experiencing significant guilt and shame, became extremely paranoid about his name being publicly leaked. He also became preoccupied about the thought of having to see McKay in court and sharing his experiences. (He) had constant nightmares about McKay going free. He shut down, became suicidal and stopped going to work,” the statement reads.

A year before he went to police, the man had overdosed on fentanyl six times.

When he gave his video statement to police in April 2022, the man “expressed that he experienced a great deal of guilt about not disclosing what happened and preventing others from suffering the same fate,” according to the statement of facts.

A couple of months before his death, he was placed on unpaid leave from his job because he wasn’t showing up to work.

“(He) had constant nightmares about McKay going free. He shut down, became suicidal and stopped going to work.”–Statement of facts

The victim had met McKay when he was 15, and the coach became a father figure to him.

McKay groomed him over the years by giving him gifts, buying him lunch and inviting him over to watch movies. McKay “talked a lot” about his own sexual experiences even though it made the victim uncomfortable. McKay eventually sexually assaulted him more than once after inviting him over to his home to watch movies. He gave him more beers than usual and massaged him.

“Afterward, McKay said it was no big deal, describing the assault as “it’s just a friend helping a friend out. I won’t saying (sic) anything if you don’t.”

The victim confronted McKay about his actions more than once and tried to stop himself from being victimized. He left McKay’s house after another attempted sexual massage, the statement of facts says. “While (the victim) was driving home, McKay called him and (the victim) told him that what he was doing was wrong.”

A friend of the victim described him as “‘funny, good-looking, smart and athletic during their high school years. After high school, (the victim’s friend) observed (him) develop a darker personality and substance abuse issues,” according to the facts on the court record.

McKay, a prominent figure in the football community, had worked for three decades at Churchill High School and Vincent Massey Collegiate. When the first charges were laid against him, he was actively coaching at Vincent Massey. The case sparked a lot of public attention and media coverage.

Plenty of red flags — in retrospect — over alleged behaviour of high school football coach Kelsey McKay

While the victims’ identities remained protected under publication bans, reporters could still access court records that disclosed their names. In an effort to protect the victims, an anonymity order was imposed to stop journalists from getting that information.

That court order has been lifted now that McKay has admitted to some of the charges, and allows for details of the victims’ experiences to become part of the public court record.

McKay initially faced 30 charges, but the bulk of those charges were stayed by the Crown.

The first victim went to police on April 5, 2022. Afterwards, other men came forward.

“His biggest fear about coming forward related to McKay’s position of importance in the community.”–Statement of facts

One man said he’d followed the news about hockey coach Robert Dawson and noted the similarities. Dawson, 57, killed himself in October 2021, six weeks after police charged him with sexually assaulting teenage boys he’d coached decades earlier in the Assiniboine Park Hockey Association.

“His biggest fear about coming forward related to McKay’s position of importance in the community. Observing what happened with Dawson’s case, knowing that there were other victims, and feeling guilt about other children potentially at risk, led to him ultimately making the decision to report what happened to police,” the statement of facts said about one of the victim’s decision to file a police report.

The suicide of one of McKay’s victims is hauntingly similar to what happened to one of the victims of convicted sexual predator Graham James.

Jay Macaulay, who was abused by James in the late 1980s when he coached the Swift Current Broncos team, died of an overdose at age 50 in April 2021, days after graduating from the four-month-long Fresh Start Recovery Centre program in Calgary.

In Free Press stories, MacAulay said the abuse he suffered as a teenager resulted in decades of emotional pain and addiction, as well as time spent in prison after committing criminal offences.

katie.may@winnipegfreepress.com

Katie May
Multimedia producer

Katie May is a multimedia producer for the Free Press.

   Read full biography