Who won the crown? Here is the result of our Halloween Bulk Barn Battle Royale

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This article was published 19/10/2021 (1813 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Halloween is one of the best snacking holidays of the year — and in of honour a day of treats, we wanted our readers to tell us which junk food was their favourite. Instead of limiting the choices to the usual big-name chocolate bars, we went with Bulk Barn snacks, since everyone seems to have a go-to from the bulk food store (from what I gleaned from Twitter, anyway.)

Whelp, after two weeks and thousands of votes coming in, we have an undisputed winner…

The dark chocolate-covered almonds!

While it doesn’t have the Can-con draw of Ringolos or the salty-spicy punch of plantain chips, wasabi peas or Sriracha cashews, I am not surprised that these almonds have won by a landslide in all rounds.

These are the platonic ideal office snack (barring anyone with a nut allergy). How many times have we been told almonds and dark chocolate are what adults should be snacking on because they’re supposed to be superfoods? We pop them into our mouths by the handful during the afternoon snack slump.

They’re not as childish as gummy bears or sour cola bottles, nor do they illicit a love-it-or-hate it reaction that the chocolate-covered jujubes or licorice cigars do. Sometimes it’s the slow and steady choice that doesn’t make waves and has mass appeal that wins out. What can I say? Twenty months into the pandemic, and we’re probably still craving for something that doesn’t rock the boat too much. And out of all the snacks on here, dark chocolate-covered almonds fit the bill.

Meet the snack that reigned supreme:

Dark chocolate coated almonds

A somewhat sophisticated snack because of its health halo (I’ve lost count of all the headlines declaring dark chocolate as healthy), dark chocolate almonds earn a place in the tournament because they walk the line between being an adult snack and one that as a kid I had no problem popping into my mouth.

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Below is the list of all the contenders in this snack bracket. They’re still delicious in case you’re looking for something to load up on this Halloween weekend.

Group 1: The Gummies

Fruit Juice Berries

With a slightly denser chew than the standard gummy bear and flavours concentrated just on raspberry and blackberry (yes, you can taste the difference), fruit juice berries are a more niche gummy choice that somehow give off an air of elegance that says, “I don’t need 10 flavours when it comes to gummies, just give me these two.”

Giant Sour Cola Bottle Gummies

It’s soda, but you chew it! Fun fact: one of these gummies contain 21g of sugar while a can of Coke contains 39g.

Albanese Gourmet Gummies

It’s hard to go wrong with the classic gummy bear, but these stand out in particular because they come in less common colours such as a minty green (tastes generically fruity), pink (pink lemonade is my best guess) and lapis blue (vaguely berrylike in flavour) in addition to the standard yellow (lemon), orange (duh) and red (cherry). Keep them in a Mason jar and let the sun shine through them like a majestic sugary stained-glass window.

Allan Sour Ju Jubes

A perfect gummy for those who like it sour but don’t want their fingers and clothes covered in sugar granules. The slightly chalky exterior compared to the smooth sheen of say, the gummy bear, might be an acquired taste but if the kids don’t want it, the adults will.

Group 2: The Golden Savoury Snacks

Honey Roasted Sriracha Cashews

The spicy, sweet and salty flavour trio is achieved through these cashews, and is perhaps the best snack to pair with beer out of all the snacks in this tournament. Word of advice: always weigh out the bags when purchasing nuts cause these aren’t cheap.

Garlic sesame sticks

A co-worker swears by these tempeh-looking bites that have a milder flavour compared to the other savoury snacks in this bracket. A savoury sesame flavour with a garlic aftertaste, it wins points for being a working snack, as in there aren’t any dusty coatings that would disrupt typing on a keyboard.

Spicy plantain chips

I’m not even going to acknowledge the existence of the regular plantain chips when the spicy version exists. The best thing about these plantain chips, aside from that satisfying snap with each bite, is that they’re actually spicy and not standard junk food spicy, which is a mild at best.

Ringolos

This potato snack with a mild BBQ flavour isn’t exclusive to the bulk food store. Ringolos are produced by Canadian snack company Humpty Dumpty and bags of it can be found anywhere, which may give it an advantage in the tournament in terms of accessibility. Also: who among us hasn’t tried (and failed time after time) to wear these as pinky rings even though we know they’re too small for anyone who isn’t a child?

Group 3: The Coated Snacks

Yogurt covered pretzels

The sugary and slightly tart yogurt coating over these snacky salty pretzels make for an interesting change from the standard chocolate coating. Also, credit to whoever convinced us to associate anything containing yogurt is healthy even though it’s full of sugar. That merits a spot in the tournament.

Chocolate Covered Jubes

Thanks to Twitter, I now know there’s a subsection of chocolate-covered candy that includes gummy bears, gummy berries and jujubes. The idea of chewy chocolate might be unfamiliar to most snackers, but it’s not that different from a bonbon with a nougat centre. Put a bowl of these out for unsuspecting snackers because they’re the culinary equivalent to a Candid Camera prank: amusing, funny but ultimately wholesome.

Chocolate Covered Coffee Beans

Remember when drinking coffee was considered peak adulthood, but as a kid most of us thought coffee tasted terrible? Covering coffee beans with chocolate make the bitter bean more palatable while still giving off a whiff of sophistication. Chocolate covered jubes? No thank you. I’m an ADULT. I want my chocolate covering coffee beans, thank you.

Group 4: The Wildcard

Cherry Blossoms

The Cherry Blossom is basically a bon bon with a centre of coconut, peanuts and a maraschino cherry. Produced by the Canadian branch of Hershey, it’s a bit of a hometown relic (it was previously produced at the Smith Falls plant before it closed) but it’s a dust magnet at most Bulk Barns (the ones I bought were literally dusty). Vote for the blossom if you’re one of the few who truly enjoy it, or vote for it because you want to throw some chaos into the tournament.

Licorice Cigars

You will either love black licorice or hate it, no in-between. Even if you’re not a fan of old-timey candy with herbal-forward flavours (anise in this case), you can’t deny the lasting endurance of licorice in the candy realm and its usefulness in decorating gingerbread houses or being the go-to black candy for Halloween.

Wasabi Coated Green Peas

The green peas add a pop of colour to the sea of brown salty snacks while the wasabi adds a more mustard rather than chili-type of heat to the tongue. If you’re a fan, check out my Chop Suey Snack Mix recipe that uses wasabi peas.

Love In A Bowl Granola

My new career goal is coming up with the granola mix names at Bulk Barn, which currently includes Currant-ly Craving Cranberry Granola; Honey, I’m Home Granola and my favourite, #Basic Granola which is just sweetened plain granola without fruit or candy. Love In A Bowl is one of the more popular flavours when I asked Twitter about what to include in the snack brackets (it has dark chocolate, coconut, almonds, freeze dried strawberries, maple syrup and cinnamon) but a vote for love is a vote for all granola.

Karon Liu is a Toronto-based food reporter for the Star. Reach him via email: karonliu@thestar.ca