So take that, rest of Canada!

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 02/03/2012 (5155 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

VANCOUVER — It’s tempting to dis The Real Housewives of Vancouver — with all that blond hair and Botox — to list all the stuff they are not (such as Asian) and to pretend they are nothing like Vancouver.

But look around. Sure, the women starring in the first Real Housewives franchise in Canada may not be like most of us. But there are a lot of them, hanging out at overpriced cafés and restaurants or up in the boxes at Vancouver Canucks games.

They’re the ones with the sunglasses on cloudy days carrying the thousand-dollar bags and cruising by Tiffany’s en route to some even-more-exclusive place that doesn’t even have a sign.

You might overhear them trading names of plastic surgeons, yoga masters and the latest gluten-free bakery, while their babies are parked in Bugaboo strollers and tended by foreign-born nannies.

Their husbands and exes have made fortunes doing jobs that are often vaguely defined as something to do with business or finance. They’re equity something-or-others or venture capitalists or they’ve got a job that requires frequent travel to Cartagena and Mexico.

So hurrah for these five “privileged, powerful and glamorous” women, of whom most of us have never heard.

They represent the nouveau-ist of riche, gaudily flaunting their wealth as they pursue celebrity and status, if not respectability.

And they’re rebranding Vancouver. THE BEST PLACE ON EARTH! A city of glass founded on prospectors’ dreams and now powered by land speculators, investor immigrants, stock touts, drug lords and wannabes.

There’s Christina Kiesel, the “free-spirited jet-setter,” who’s double-dipped on alimony and still claims to be 29.

There’s Jody Claman, who describes herself as “Martha Stewart on acid,” having started a West Vancouver catering firm and a clothing store.

Reiko MacKenzie is a martial artist with a collection of luxury cars. Mary Zilba was Miss Ohio 1986 and now that she’s single again, hopes to use the show to restart her pop singing career that’s apparently languished despite having had “numerous” songs on the Top-40 chart.

And, there’s Ronnie Seterdahl Negus, mother of five, who plans to use her 15 minutes of fame to launch a family-owned winery.

Thank heavens for these women.

They’re putting Vancouver in its rightful place alongside such cultural capitals as Beverly Hills and New Jersey. They’ll drive a stake through the heart of that ’60s stereotype that this is a laid-back Lotusland where everyone wears Birkenstocks and fleece.

They’re taking Vancouver back from the hippies and the homeless. As Wikipedia slyly notes about the real housewives: “The basic premise of these shows can be categorized as First-World Problems.”

And let’s not forget the syndicate scions chose here — Hollywood North minus the sunshine and tans. Let Toronto Life whine (as it already has) that TO was passed by. Don’t they know no one cares about a city run by a Ford?

Here the nearly famous drive Maseratis, harbour yachts and have chalets at Whistler (which also had its own TV show, don’t you know?).

We’ve got a movie-star-type mayor with an appropriately entrepreneurial background. And, yes, we do so have a film festival, even if it doesn’t quite have the red-carpet appeal.

We’ve got mountains and an ocean (well, almost an ocean) the rich and nearly famous can look out on from their concrete and glass.

So take that, Rest of Canada — just in case you’d forgotten.

And did I mention the daffodils are up (although I hope they didn’t freeze in Wednesday’s snow.)

You know, when you think about it, the real housewives aren’t all that different than the Grantham girls of Downtown Abbey — minus the class, manners, writers and Maggie Smith.

 

Daphne Bramham is a Vancouver Sun columnist.

 

–Postmedia News