Not letting the victims fall by the wayside

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This article was published 15/10/2024 (642 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Lifelong. Life-altering. Catastrophic harm.

These are the words a Winnipeg judge used to describe the devastating impacts of sexual assault and violence on young victims.

At a recent sentencing, where disgraced high school football coach Kelsey McKay was sentenced to 20 years in prison for abusing nine boys over a 13-year period, provincial court judge Ray Wyant also had this to say: “Like a killer, Mr. McKay murdered part of their soul and their being, and in no way can Mr. McKay ever repay that debt.”

Now that McKay has been sentenced, we know what will become of him, at least for the next several years while he remains behind bars. But what of his victims? Is someone guiding them through these tragic days in the aftermath of catastrophic harm? Are enough supports in place to help these teenagers and now young adults expunge the trauma and get their innocence back?

Sadly, not for one, who recently died by suicide.

Another one told the court he struggles with suicidal ideation and drug and alcohol abuse.

This is completely in keeping with what we know often happens to survivors in the aftermath of abuse and assault. The shame goes inward and becomes an insidious disease, compelling them toward self-abuse and destruction. One can only hope that this young individual and all other victims of sexual violence find a pathway to healing.

It begs a question — as a society, are we doing enough to support them? There are enough statistics and studies to tell us that if this trauma is left to fester, the survivors are likely to have mental health and addictions issues. Their trauma may also drive them toward hurting others, lashing out and inflicting violence on loved ones and strangers. They then go from the abused to abuser, and the cycle continues.

We have a collective responsibility to help these kids repair the damage inflicted upon them. If we do not, we are standing idle while a deadly, and costly, cycle perpetuates, adding up to millions in future health care, mental health and addictions costs. Further involvement in the justice system, homelessness or child and family services also adds millions.

So what is being done to help children and teens recover from this kind of trauma?

In recent years, there has been a dramatic shift towards trauma-informed victim services that works alongside the justice system, which, by and large, is geared toward perpetrators of crime while the victims silently fade into the background.

Christy Dzikowicz, the CEO and driving force behind the creation of Toba Centre for Children & Youth, often laments how sad it is to see victims seemingly forgotten and families not equally supported as they’re going through this horrible process.

They are thrust into a criminal justice system whereby the police, policy makers and justice administrators are seemingly and understandably more focused on the criminal. That is why she, along with several other amazing Manitobans, decided to do something about it. In 2013, the centre, formerly called Snowflake Place, was created to offer a child-friendly atmosphere to support children and their families impacted by abuse and violence.

In 2022, they moved into a new building at Assiniboine Park and expanded service delivery to immediately help restore a sense of safety and well-being after a child or teen has been abused or assaulted.

At Toba Centre, they can provide services — whether it’s forensic nurse examinations, police interviews, trauma therapy, social services or court preparation, to name a few — in a healing and safe atmosphere.

This one-of-a-kind child advocacy centre in Manitoba also works with other agencies like New Directions to ensure there are wraparound healing supports for survivors of sexual trauma.

Sadly, as long as there are perpetrators like McKay and children and teens in need of protection and support, we need these resources to give these kids a fighting chance at recovery. In Manitoba, there are an estimated 4,000 cases of child abuse investigated annually.

October marks Child Abuse Prevention Month. Its aim is to raise awareness of the prevalence of child abuse and violence, and for us all to ask ourselves what we can do to prevent it from happening. It’s important to recognize the signs of abuse and interfere when we see something that isn’t right. We might be the one to stop another perpetrator from inflicting this insidious harm on another youngster.

To report abuse, call child and family services at 1-866-345-9241 or contact your local police agency.

For more information about Toba Centre, visit tobacentre.ca

Rochelle Squires is a recovering politician after 7 1/2 years in the Manitoba legislature. She is a political and social commentator whose column appears Tuesdays.

rochelle@rochellesquires.ca