An early Christmas wish list for footy fans

It is a month before Christmas, and from shopping malls to holiday markets to winter wonderlands, untold Santa Clauses in umpteen countries have been hearing the whispered wishes of football clubs, players and fans.

Due to Santa-wisher privilege, we can never know for sure just what the Jolly Old St. Nicks have been hearing. But that won’t stop us from guessing. After all, who isn’t curious what the other kid has wrapped under the tree?

Barcelona: a wish for Harry Kane

We don’t even have to listen closely to learn what Barcelona wants for Christmas, as they don’t have an indoor voice. “HARRY KANE, PLEASE!” And they’ll likely get him, although they’ll have to be patient. The 32-year-old will see out the season at Bayern Munich, where he has twice as many Bundesliga goals this season as the next highest scorer. But he also has a release clause of 65 million euros that Barca will be happy to pay in the spring, especially as Robert Lewandowski’s contract expires in June. Santa might even be on commission for this one.

Marseille and Lens: a wish for PSG to drop points

Quite unexpectedly, a title race is shaping up in France. Paris Saint-Germain, having won four straight titles and 11 of the last 13, is running neck and neck — and neck — with Marseille and Lens, who are waiting to take advantage of the slightest stumble from the Parisiens. Marseille is best-placed to do it. They beat their archrival in September and will look to do it again in early 2026. PSG has won just three of its last six matches and faces a difficult trip to Monaco next weekend.

Italy: a wish for World Cup qualification

Since lifting the World Cup in 2006, Italy has won exactly one match at the quadrennial competition. That was in 2014 against England. They still failed to reach the knock-outs. Then they missed the 2018 and 2022 tournaments entirely. If the Azzurri are to get back to the big show in 2026 they’ll have to beat Northern Ireland in a March semifinal and then dispatch either Wales or Bosnia and Herzegovina. Few in Italy are holding their breath. In 2022, they were eliminated at the identical stage by North Macedonia. Some Santa magic might be the only way they show up in Canada, the United States and Mexico.

Erling Haaland: a wish for the Ballon d’Or

Some wishes make light work for Santa Claus — like the kid who wants a sled or the 6-5 record goal-scorer who wants the Ballon d’Or. If he scores today, or at all between now and February, Manchester City striker Erling Haaland will become the fastest player to 100 goals in Premier League history. Alan Shearer holds the current record and Haaland, quite appropriately, could set the new mark Saturday at Shearer’s Newcastle. Having already hauled Norway into a first World Cup since 1998, the towering 25-year-old is the runaway favourite to win European football’s most prestigious individual prize. In fact, it would take a collapse as impressive as his current form for him not to win it.

Vinicius Junior: a wish for an attitude adjustment

This wish was made on behalf of someone, or someones, for someone else in need of it. Xabi Alonso and Carlo Ancelotti are hoping that Vinicius Junior smartens up in time for the club season run-in and upcoming World Cup. Alonso, who manages Vini Jr. at Real Madrid, would surely prefer that the forward improve on his five goals from 12 La Liga matches this term. Ancelotti, who needs the forward at his very best to have any hope of World Cup contention, has already had a word with him. The 25-year-old has been on a 13-month sulk since being (rightfully) beaten to the Ballon d’Or by Spanish midfielder Rodri. If Santa delivers, one of the sport’s most electrifying players could suddenly return to his best.

The fans: a wish for less of Gianni Infantino

Not a day goes by — literally, not a single day — without FIFA president and White House lackey Gianni Infantino showing up on Instagram, in email blasts and Oval Office photo ops. A more nauseating figure in sports there is not. His eagerness to ingratiate himself with some of the worst people in the world is a daily reminder — again, literally daily — that a game so many people want so much to innocently love has been turned into a vehicle of human rights violations and rented to any dictator who fancies a spin. Fans deserve better. They deserve to anticipate the next World Cup with excitement rather than dread. Dear Santa, please give us more football and less Infantino.

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