It’s a rough sport… thanks to unruly parents

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This article was published 08/05/2009 (6016 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Softball Ontario has created a booklet clarifying its most misunderstood rules in order to reduce the number of umpires quitting because of parents berating them at their children’s games.

An Ottawa hockey administrator has advised teenage referees to hand their whistles over to belligerent parents and suggest they officiate the games when the insults get out of hand.

This week, the Calgary Minor Soccer Association became the most recent organization to grapple with the issue, instituting mandatory "field marshals" at games to keep things under control.

"The parents, themselves, have been a little insane," says Don Klym, executive director of Softball Manitoba.

Parental emotions and investment in the game have intensified in recent years, sports officials across the country say, and if their kids aren’t embarrassed by their behaviour, they’re learning from their example.

"Everyone views their game as the World Series," says Stephanie Sutton, co-ordinator for the coaches and umpires programs at Softball Ontario. "It’s very important to them, whether it’s the beginning of the season or a championship game."

Softball Ontario started looking at the problem when they realized hounding from parents was driving too many umpires to quit the game, Sutton says. The result is the Respect My Game program, launched this season, which the association hopes to export to provincial bodies across the country.

The program includes a "short-and-sweet" statement umpires read at the beginning of every game asking for respect, Sutton says, and a guide that explains 10 commonly misunderstood rules.

"The thing people most argue about is the rules of the game, and it’s because they’re unaware of what the rules are and they argue a call and that’s how things escalate," she says.

"So we have a guide that puts the rules into simpler language for people, as opposed to reading the 500-page rule book."

Sutton, who also coaches 15- and 16-year-old boys, says seeing their parents get riled up at a game can lead to "monkey see, monkey do" misbehaviour on the part of kids.

Richard Sennott, executive director of the Ottawa District Hockey Association, says some parents think their child’s registration fee gives them license to scream out the pressures of their work and social lives at the rink. Refs have the right to kick belligerent parents out of the arena and halt the game until they leave in his organization, he says, and he’s advised teenage referees to offer their whistles to critics in the stands and ask if they want to take over the tough job of officiating.

Parents — especially those new to Canada — sometimes simply don’t know what’s expected of them as a hockey parent, Sennott says, so his organization has created an online education program about rink etiquette.

"You take a new Canadian who comes into the game, goes to the arena, watches a hockey game and watches the wrong type of parent and his impression of hockey is you scream and you yell," he says.

Todd Anderson, manager of officiating with Hockey Canada, says over-zealous parents may ironically weaken the coaching and officiating skills in their child’s sport if their abusive behaviour make it difficult to retain experienced and knowledgeable people in those roles.

Parents can lose perspective, he says, forgetting that one slip-up in a Tuesday-night game isn’t going to make or break their child’s future NHL career.

Klym at Softball Manitoba says most parents are reasonable, but in his sport the hysteria seems to get worse in Olympic years or during Canada Summer Games tryouts.

In response, his organization has instituted a "zero-tolerance policy" on cursing and harassment that requires coaches to eject parents from the field if they cross the line, he says, and season-long bans for violent altercations have occurred only rarely.

"I’ve seen (players) look at each other and they’re almost embarrassed," Klym says.

"The last thing a player wants to see is a coach telling their dad to leave the diamond."

— Canwest News Service

 

For some, apparently, it’s not just a game

CANADIAN parents get most heated about their children’s hockey games, a sampling of recent altercations suggests:

March 2004 — Michael Bernhart is sentenced to 10 days in jail for brandishing his son’s stick and threatening a referee during a Dec. 2003 hockey game in Medicine Hat, Alta.

January 2005 — The Ottawa District Minor Hockey Association announces a multi-year ban from hockey arenas against one parent who attacked a player.

March 2005 — Another parent in Ottawa is suspended for three years for threatening his son’s coach, bringing the total number of suspensions for bad behaviour to 14 parents.

September 2005 — An assistant coach in Calgary faces criminal charges for dropping his pants during an argument with other coaches and officials.

December 2005 — A hockey dad from Pakenham, just outside Ottawa, is fined and gets a criminal record for assaulting an off-duty referee in the stands during a game.

December 2006 — Bradley Desrocher of Toronto is fined $2,000 and given a criminal record for choking his son’s coach into unconsciousness during a game.

February 2007 — Richard Stanley is charged with assault and causing a disturbance after an off-ice fight at a midget hockey game in P.E.I. A coach and player were also involved.

May 2008 — The Port Coquitlam, B.C., Minor Lacrosse Association declares five games will be "silent stands" games where fans cannot yell, cheer or clap, in order to take the stress off referees.

June 2008 — Fans are banned from the arena during a playoff game at the Red River Lacrosse Association novice division in Manitoba because one referee was verbally abused a few nights before.

January 2009 — A parent whose son was injured during a junior hockey game between Kitchener and London, Ont., attacks a linesman. The incident is recorded and posted on YouTube.

March 2009 — A teenage referee is shoved by a parent in the hallway following a pee-wee level hockey game in Calgary. The parent is suspended indefinitely.

— Canwest News Service