Being brutally honest is appropriate response

Advertisement

Advertise with us

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: This is for Too Polite in Westwood, who's having trouble dishing out rejection to an old boyfriend online. To just stop corresponding with people or to outright shut them down goes against everything one stands for, but at times it has to be done, otherwise jerks will take advantage of the fact you're too nice. Lines I've used are, "To be honest, I'm really not looking for us to reconnect," and, "It's not working for me." Then definitely block, unfriend and unfollow.

Read this article for free:


or

Already have an account? Log in here »

To continue reading, please subscribe:

Subscribe and receive a limited-edition Free Press branded hat or tote.

Digital Subscription

One year of digital access for only $205*

  • Enjoy unlimited reading on winnipegfreepress.com
  • Read the E-Edition, our digital replica newspaper
  • Access News Break, our award-winning app
  • Play interactive puzzles

*First annual payment billed as $205.00 + GST for one year. This annual subscription will automatically renew at $233.00 + GST every 52 weeks (10% off the regular annual price of $259.35). Offer available to new and qualified returning subscribers only. Cancel any time.

To continue reading, please subscribe:

Add Free Press access to your Brandon Sun subscription for only an additional

$1 for the first 4 weeks*

  • Enjoy unlimited reading on winnipegfreepress.com
  • Read the E-Edition, our digital replica newspaper
  • Access News Break, our award-winning app
  • Play interactive puzzles
Start now

*Your next Brandon Sun subscription payment will increase by $1.00 and you will be charged $17.95 plus GST for four weeks. After four weeks, your payment will increase to $24.95 plus GST every four weeks.

Opinion

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 21/04/2016 (3796 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: This is for Too Polite in Westwood, who’s having trouble dishing out rejection to an old boyfriend online. To just stop corresponding with people or to outright shut them down goes against everything one stands for, but at times it has to be done, otherwise jerks will take advantage of the fact you’re too nice. Lines I’ve used are, “To be honest, I’m really not looking for us to reconnect,” and, “It’s not working for me.” Then definitely block, unfriend and unfollow.

— Been There, Done that, River Heights

 

Dear Been There: Blocking hurts peoples’ feelings, but if you say goodbye in the ways you have outlined and then block persistent people, it certainly calls a halt to communicating.

 

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: This is response to Serious Musician whose parents want him to go university after he takes his “gap year.” He wants to play music and will not go into careers they want.

I worked at the MTS Centre when it first opened up and was talking to a lady who co-ordinated hotels for a performer. They hired two 18 year olds as their “grunts.” She said, “I can’t believe what kind of work these guys will do for us, and for cheap.” I replied: “Wait a second, think about this these two men — they are learning about the industry! They’re traveling all over the world learning what they have to do and who they need in their careers to make it on their own. They are getting their education and they get paid to travel. Plus they are doing something they are very passionate about.”

I never asked her if they were musicians, but wouldn’t that be cool if your band did that and then ended up opening up for someone big because you were their “grunts.” It’s all about who you know, and what you know will keep you there. I’ve seen and done a lot to follow my dreams.

On a second note, I finally went back to university at age 29. You’re never too old to learn. You can even take international studies and get credit for it here. You pay Manitoba prices for tuition and major in anything and minor in something else. University can also give you fundamentals in life in a different way than you might think.

I spent $40,000 travelling Africa to volunteer and understand a culture that was foreign to me. I found out later I could have done a school exchange for $3,000 and spent three months working on a project, which is exactly what I did when I was over there. Once I went back to school at 29, I was too old for that program.

So just understand that you can make university work for you as long as you know what you want. You could minor in law and possibly major in music?

— Life is Good, Winnipeg

 

Dear Life Is Good: Thanks for sharing your experiences, and especially for the hot tip about travel opportunities in some university courses.

 

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: Why doesn’t Serious Musician go to school to become a music teacher if this guy is passionate about music? Learn it to teach it, and he can still look good in front of his parents.

— Compromise Position, Winnipeg

 

Dear Compromise: That would be a heart-breaking compromise. A person who wants the exciting onstage life of being a performing musician is a different animal from a person who wants to teach others.

 

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., MB, Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6

 

Miss Lonelyhearts

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

Our newsroom depends on a growing audience of readers to power our journalism. If you are not a paid reader, please consider becoming a subscriber.

Our newsroom depends on its audience of readers to power our journalism. Thank you for your support.

Report Error Submit a Tip

More Stories

Closure of Nomads field massive upset for North End

Joshua Frey-Sam 4 minute read Preview

Closure of Nomads field massive upset for North End

Joshua Frey-Sam 4 minute read Updated: Yesterday at 8:49 AM CDT

The North Winnipeg Nomads have a flag on the field.

The long-standing minor football club was recently informed that its field is unfit to host games and that it would need to find a new home for its five youth and adult teams until repairs are made to the playing surface.

“Our board has made every effort to address the condition of our home field,” the club wrote in a statement. “Unfortunately, following a professional assessment, the field has been determined to be unsafe and unstable for our athletes.”

All five of the club’s teams will play their 2026 season at Frank Whyte Field, part of the Northwood Community Centre, with no confirmed date for when they can play on their home field again.

Read
Updated: Yesterday at 8:49 AM CDT

Retired sportscaster Scott Oake determined as fundraising for women's addictions treatment facility enters home stretch

Melissa Martin 4 minute read Preview

Retired sportscaster Scott Oake determined as fundraising for women's addictions treatment facility enters home stretch

Melissa Martin 4 minute read Thursday, Sep. 10, 2026

For now, the patch of land just east of the Victoria Hospital doesn’t look like much: just a field of rocks, mounded dirt, and concrete piles driven into the earth. Yet when Scott Oake looks over the site, he can already imagine how it will look in just over a year’s time, when the new Anne Oake Family Recovery Centre is expected to open.

It’s easier to picture this time around. In 2020, when the recently-retired CBC sportscaster and his late wife, Anne, were building their first labour of intermingled grief and love, the Bruce Oake Recovery Centre for men, it was hard for him to wrap his mind around how a raw construction site could transform into a welcoming addictions treatment facility.

When that centre opened in 2021, Oake found it looked “almost identical” to the architect’s renderings. So it’s easy to hope the Anne Oake Centre will be the same. It will be the first facility of its kind, its founders believe, not only in Canada but in North America: a place where 50 to 70 women can pursue sobriety while staying with their children.

“At Bruce Oake there’s a culture of love, and most of all a culture of hope,” Oake said, speaking at the site Thursday after a media conference to announce the final push of the centre’s fundraising campaign. “I can feel it every time I walk into that building. And I know it will be the same here.”

Read
Thursday, Sep. 10, 2026

Injuries reported after police pursuit on Broadway

Free Press staff 2 minute read Preview

Injuries reported after police pursuit on Broadway

Free Press staff 2 minute read Updated: Yesterday at 6:12 PM CDT

Winnipeg police are investigating a “serious incident” in which people were injured following a police pursuit near Broadway and Young Street Friday afternoon.

Police said the scene would remain secured as officers investigate. No details about the number or severity of injuries were released.

Broadway was closed between Furby and Young streets until further notice and motorists were asked to avoid the area.

Shaelyn Desmarais McLeod, whose car sustained minor damage, said she witnessed the end of the police pursuit.

Read
Updated: Yesterday at 6:12 PM CDT

Artist’s inspired work brings Red River Métis story back to Portage and Main

Conrad Sweatman 8 minute read Preview

Artist’s inspired work brings Red River Métis story back to Portage and Main

Conrad Sweatman 8 minute read Updated: Yesterday at 2:47 PM CDT

Jennine Krauchi calls them the “grandmothers.” “They speak to you very silently. You never hear a word, but they speak,” Krauchi says, referring to the antique pieces of Métis needlework she’s carefully studied for years. But there are few precedents for her latest art project: a 85-foot-wide by 32-foot-high chain curtain of Métis needlework that drapes over the historic Bank of Montreal’s neoclassical facade.

Read
Updated: Yesterday at 2:47 PM CDT

Being brutally honest is appropriate response

Miss Lonelyhearts 4 minute read Thursday, Apr. 21, 2016

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: This is for Too Polite in Westwood, who's having trouble dishing out rejection to an old boyfriend online. To just stop corresponding with people or to outright shut them down goes against everything one stands for, but at times it has to be done, otherwise jerks will take advantage of the fact you're too nice. Lines I've used are, "To be honest, I'm really not looking for us to reconnect," and, "It's not working for me." Then definitely block, unfriend and unfollow.

— Been There, Done that, River Heights

 

Dear Been There: Blocking hurts peoples' feelings, but if you say goodbye in the ways you have outlined and then block persistent people, it certainly calls a halt to communicating.

Citizen reports help highlight connectivity issues across southwest Manitoba

Nicole Buffie 5 minute read Preview

Citizen reports help highlight connectivity issues across southwest Manitoba

Nicole Buffie 5 minute read Updated: 10:43 AM CDT

A southwestern Manitoba man has created a map to document cell service blackout spots in an effort to push for better access in rural areas.

Mark Custance compiled more than 300 citizen reports over the last few months to document where service in southwest Manitoba is strong, spotty or doesn’t exist at all.

“I’ve heard people complain and say, ‘cell service sucks’ or ‘this is not working.’ But what does the data actually say?” Custance said from his office in Melita, where he has installed a cell-service booster to maintain connectivity with the rest of the world.

Analyzing where service is good and poor, he cross-references it with the location of cellphone towers across the region.

Read
Updated: 10:43 AM CDT