Young lad frets about mom switching boyfriends

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This article was published 02/11/2019 (2500 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: My mom has a loud voice. I heard her tell a big lie to her boyfriend because I was in the next room when he phoned. She told him she had to stay home and look after us kids on the weekend. But I later heard her tell her best friend she had a “hot date with a new guy.” My mom went out alone on the weekend two nights and didn’t say where she was going, and I babysat.

I am a guy, 12. I’ve overheard a lot, and am not stupid. I really like my mom’s boyfriend and he’s nice to me and my brother. Should I tell somebody, like her boyfriend, what she’s doing behind his back? I really hate it.

— Worried Son, West End

Dear Worried: Don’t do anything to get rid of the boyfriend you like, who’s good to you and your brother. Do tell your mother what you overheard and how much you like her current boyfriend, and don’t want to see him gone.

It may have been the truth when she told her friend she was stepping out to see another guy, or she may have been bragging to make herself look like a hotshot. Sadly for you, it does seem like things may be cooling with the boyfriend you think is nice. He may be tired of her, too, and not calling until the last minute.

Don’t make things tough for yourself in the household. It sounds like it may be difficult at home already. Also mention to Mom you can hear her voice through the walls when she’s on the phone, and it makes you feel very uncomfortable.

Try not to get your hopes up too high for any guy your mom starts seeing and resolve to always be honest and kind in your romantic dealings when the time comes. In your own dating life, pick ones who are honest types, as much as you can tell. They do exist, and in good numbers.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I am athletic and have a fat butt. There’s no nice way to say it. I do everything I can to exercise and lose it, but it just grows rounder and more muscular.

I can’t wear skinny jeans as it shows real big, and I can’t wear tight T-shirts for the same reason. So I wear loose shirts, sweaters and baggy jeans to cover it.

One guy in my class, who has a bad rep, is always staring at me. He is known for his rude comments.

Last week, he told me, “I like what you’re hiding.” I went 10 shades of red and he winked and said, “So stop hiding it!” and walked away.

I felt embarrassed, but at the same time, I felt good about my “caboose” for a change. Now I find myself thinking about him all the time. Am I nuts?

Going out with him could get me a bad reputation, and he’s so good-looking he goes through girls like everything.

— One Guy Wants Me, South End

Dear Wants Me: He’s probably not the only guy who likes you, but in high school, guys don’t advertise who they’re attracted to, or they get teased. Some are attracted to several girls at once — and they may all look different from each other. What you’re lacking is not good looks, but confidence in your own looks, which includes a round, muscled bottom — nothing to be ashamed of.

Don’t think he’s the only guy who likes you and thinks your build is attractive. It’s just harder to compliment a behind than a beautiful pair of eyes, so you’re not often going to hear about it. This guy said it, and other guys may think it. Now you need to look in the mirror and love yourself as you are.

Consider seeing a female counsellor at school about this problem. They help lots of students with self-confidence issues. It’s not all about the books, marks and parents issues in those counselling offices.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I ate fish at a local restaurant and got sick. My girlfriend phoned and raised heck with them. They asked for our address and sent us free gift certificates to come back with a group. These are useless when we won’t ever be back. I just think they don’t want us to call the health department. What should I do?

— Never Going Back, Winnipeg

Dear Never: Decide what to do about reporting this incident at the restaurant, and throw the gift certificates away. Just because you’re a polite Canadian doesn’t mean you have to use gift certificates you don’t want from a place where you got sick.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

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