Connecting with troubled ex’s family is best plan

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This article was published 14/01/2021 (2047 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My new live-in girlfriend turns out to be a serious wino.  She promised me, as my Christmas present, that she’d stop the daily drinking and the constant weed, and I thought she may have done it.

Then, when I came home from work three hours early feeling sick, she was drunk and high, and the place just reeked. She hadn’t had time to open the windows and stash the bottles.

Her first line? “You weren’t supposed to be home until 6 p.m!” As if it was my fault she got caught.

I told her to pack and go back to her to her momma. Then I went to the computer room, threw up in the trash basket, and actually cried myself to sleep on the couch. I thought I was really in love with her, but now I know for sure she’s an alcoholic (like my own mother), smokes weed constantly, and lies.

When I woke up at 3 a.m. she was even more drunk and cursing me out. I called her mother, and asked her to come get her because I was in the process of kicking her out.

Her mom and two brothers showed up with a pickup truck in 30 minutes and got her out. I waited in my own car in the driveway so we didn’t have to keep crossing paths. She came over to the car and called me some nasty names. Then they were finally gone.

I aired out the house, locked the doors, and breathed deeply for the first time in weeks. Within an hour, I realized I was actually not sick anymore. I guess she was making me feel sick.

Now she won’t stop phoning me at home and at work! I hang up or the decline the calls, repeatedly. Should I call her family and tell them I am about to call a lawyer? — Harassed by Beautiful Drinker, East Kildonan

Dear Harassed: Beautiful drinker, huh? You still have a thing for her. Don’t tease your brain like that. The call of her addiction at this point is stronger than you are.

Why haven’t you totally blocked her? Are you subconsciously leaving one avenue of communication open? Your phone service provider could help you to block her calls and ask people at work not to forward calls to you.

Call her family, because they responded to you positively and quickly before. Tell your ex’s parents why you broke up and that her daughter badly needs help. Also, tell them she’s harassing you by phone at home and work.

The family needs the whole story, and it’s up to them to intercede, if they can. Sadly, she doesn’t listen to you.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My boyfriend talks about a guy he knows who has a string of “COVID girlfriends” — girls who have their own places and never go out, so are a good bet not to give him COVID.

He says they love it when he comes over. I’ll bet! All his buddy thinks about is sex.

My boyfriend seems to admire this guy. Because both guys are in their early 20s, they figure they’re safe from serious sickness.

This weekend I didn’t see much of my boyfriend. When I phoned his parents’ house, I asked for him. His innocent little sister, who’s eight, took me for some other girl, asking if I was so-and-so, by name. Not my name!

Then she mentioned another girl’s name. At that point, I felt so anxious, I hung up.

When I asked my boyfriend about this, he tried to soothe my fears, but he wasn’t very convincing. I didn’t want to sleep with him that night or any night since. What do you think? — Anxious Girlfriend, Downtown

Dear Anxious: Listen to your gut. It’s warning you that your boyfriend may be copying his pal’s trick and starting to connect with several other women. It’s certainly on his mind.

Now, he’s showing up at your place less. How about you let him go on his merry way so you can get tested for COVID-19 and hopefully stop worrying?

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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