Take tactful approach with regifting relative

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This article was published 13/01/2021 (2094 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: This is in response to the people complaining to you about regifting of Christmas presents. My suggestion is that Her Just Deserts, who just got a regifted present, should turn around and regift it to that sender next year in the exchange.

I’ve experienced the same problem several times from a relative. One year they’re getting something, and they decide they don’t want or need it. The next year it comes back here to my family.

It is totally annoying! How can think she’s fooling me? — What Goes Around Comes Around, Winnipeg

Dear Goes Around: Enough tit for tat on the regifting. The serial regifter in your family is itching to stop exchanging presents with you, so… good. Let it happen!

The trick is to send a casual email something like this: “Wishing you a Happy New Year! Just wanted you to know that exchanging best wishes on the phone with you is what our family will be doing from now on for Christmas. Good luck to you and the kids in 2021!”

That makes it clear you have recognized the regifting, and it’s over. You see the trick? You also make sure to wish her a Happy New Year, to show you are not stooping to her level, and finish it off by saying you hope her family is doing well. Everyone wants to hear that sentiment.

Families require great tact in such situations. Even if you aren’t crazy about this relative, the husband and cousins might like each other and they should be able to continue to be friends.

The regifting will become a minor annoyance that fades once it’s been tactfully discontinued by you.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I have already failed on my new year’s resolutions and am eating twice as much sweets and greasy foods as I did in December.

My boyfriend, who lives with me, makes me sick. Goody Two Shoes hasn’t slipped once! He’s lost seven pounds and built some biceps muscle lifting weights — muscles he likes to pop up for me to see every day. Really!

He has accused me of trying to sabotage him by baking and leaving my delicious snacks out where he can see them. Why should I hide them if he has so much willpower?

OK, I admit I do lay them out hoping he will be tempted! — Driving Each Other Crazy, Downtown

Dear Driving: You think things will get better when you sabotage his program and he’s back eating junk and watching the boob tube with you? Wrong-o! He’s going to be giving you the evil eye, and noticing your laziness.

Why not support his ambitious health program instead? Encourage him, even though you can’t keep on doing the same yourself. Don’t weaken the good feeling between you just because you couldn’t keep up your resolution.

The large majority of people give up their new year’s resolutions without any help from detractors by the time Valentine’s Day rolls around.

Why set yourself up for unnecessary trouble with your sweetheart? If this boyfriend does manage to continue with his workouts and eating plan despite your slacking off, he will be happy and sexier-looking by Feb. 14.

If you treat him nicely and praise him for his efforts and willpower, he may be looking at you with a wink and a smile, a sexy body and a rose.

But if you continue being annoying and undermining his efforts, he may start seeing someone else in mind for his romantic attentions.

 Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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