Facebook-phobic pal deserves heads-up on flirty gal

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 29/01/2021 (2033 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: One of my newest female friends (a male buddy’s new lady) is constantly flirting on Facebook. She behaves as if she’s single. Her boyfriend is not on Facebook — he hates social media — and has no clue what she’s up to.

He’s working out of town all week and comes home most weekends. She has ample opportunity to fill her solitary days with new “friends.” She is putting herself and my buddy in COVID danger! I check her out and read her flirty responses, and the majority of her comments are sexy hints. Is she nuts?

In the midst of a pandemic, she’s actually been getting together with people. How do I know this? I got my own boyfriend to give her a hustle to see what she’s up to, and he got an invitation to meet in a parking lot.

Even though I know this news is going to rip my buddy apart, I feel a desperate need to let him know. How should I approach this?

— Looking for Snitch Words, South St. Vital

Dear Snitch Words: Are you worried about losing this cheating woman’s friendship? No! She’s a player who’s taking chances with your pal’s health during a pandemic. So tell your male buddy about this woman’s extracurricular activities, and include the experiment with your boyfriend as proof.

He’ll be mad for sure — embarrassed and angry at the intrusion into his private life — but that’s far less important than the risk to his health. He may surprise you and decide to believe whatever lies this woman tells him, and you may lose him as a friend. If he gets sick, at least you’ll know you were a good friend and tried to warn him.

If she dumps him, he may actually try to come back to you as a friend. And she will at some point! She’s already auditioning for a new leading man, and maybe for more than one.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My husband has a problem and he thinks it’s hilarious — he’s constantly burping and farting. I am not amused. What a turn-off! To be honest, at this point in our lives (our kids are older and living elsewhere) I was hoping we could rekindle some romance.

I want to have candlelit dinners and dance in our kitchen, and he wants to wear sweatpants and pass gas. Am I a fool for wanting better? Why is he behaving this way? He didn’t do this when the boys were young.

— Disappointed Wife, St. Boniface

Dear Disappointed: It sounds like he’s dying for some laughter and hilarity, and going about it the wrong way. The kids are gone and the laughter went with them. On top of that, you two can’t go out for entertainment just now, but you can have a lot of fun at home. Look up “funniest board games for adults” online and wade through the choices. Order more than one!

Once you have games delivered, snacks and refreshments on hand, whisper to your guy to be a gentlemen, and pass gas in the bathroom, when possible. Just don’t make a huge case out of it with him. Keep things light.

Interested in some sexy games? Local erotic shops are open to customers again. Some suggestions? Glow in the Dark Sex, Intimate Dares, Chocolate Decadence, Midnight Lovers or Strip Poker.

It’s fun to browse the store for toys, potions, books and lingerie as a couple, but you can call also call ahead for curbside pickup.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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