Save the bedroom belly-laughs for a little later

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This article was published 03/02/2021 (2076 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m a British-born, middle-aged woman, and really enjoy a good laugh. Unfortunately, there are things that strike me as strange and funny about sex, and I often laugh out loud during the process. This didn’t bother my former Canadian boyfriend — a drinker like me — but since I stopped drinking and got myself a non-drinking fellow, everything’s changed. In fact, if I make a joke, my sweet new guy finds it deflating, to put it delicately.

My raucous old boyfriend didn’t let laughter get in the way of a good time. In fact, he’d often take the lead from me, and make it even more fun! How do I persuade my new guy that I’m not laughing at him? I’m just having a fun time, and so should he.

— Sense of Humour Unappreciated, Fort Richmond

Dear Unappreciated: If you detach and look at sex from a distance, it can certainly border on the ridiculous.

But not many guys appreciate their girlfriend having a big laugh in the middle just because it’s striking her as goofy. You can control the laughter, and you know it, but you’re a bit like a kid getting hold of a toy water pistol and blasting it off at the height of a wedding ceremony, just to get all the adults upset. You might try to be one of the adults next time your fellow is doing his best to create drama and pleasure for you in bed. Postpone the jokes until the main action is over, and then he’ll probably be quite happy to laugh along with you.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: Our parents put my sister and me in charge of paying the monthly household bills online “so we’d get a feeling for real life.” That lasted for three months; now it’s just a drag. Plus, it’s meaningless to us because it’s not our fancy house. We’ll never live anywhere that costs this much when we’re out working. Right now, we’re both university students.

We asked my mom to take back this job now we’ve learned the lesson, and she said, “Not happening! In real life the bills don’t go away just because you get tired of paying them.” But the point is, we’re not paying them with our own money. It’s just numbers, and there’s nothing more to learn. Besides, my sister and I are not getting paid anything for doing this job.

— Free Service, Tuxedo

Dear Free Service: You’ve been living at home past the time when some kids are out of the house — and you’re living free in fancy digs! The purpose of giving you two this little job might have been to make you appreciate what you’re getting every month, aside from a fine roof over your heads.

Perhaps it’s time for you two “kids” to calculate what it will cost to get an apartment or suite in a house, plus food, utilities, phone and internet plans for yourselves. Then you might find part-time jobs to pay for it all and go to university — or you might have to take a year off to save up. Good luck with sassing your mom back!

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My husband is a photographer and known for his work. I’m only working part-time because of the pandemic so have been experimenting with photography myself, and have become fascinated with birds, both researching them and going out at all times of day to take pictures.

My husband loves my photos and had been very encouraging, so I decided on my own to do a book. To my shock and amazement, he has started back-pedalling and he’s been picking holes in my latest groups of photos. I know it’s the best work I’ve done so far! What is the matter with him?

— Surprised Wife, Charleswood

Dear Surprised: You’ve only been working at this art form for a little while and already you’re doing what he probably feels he should have done years ago, but didn’t. That doesn’t mean you should stop your new book project, or tell him he’s “just envious” because your work is so good. What it does mean is this: You should encourage him to do the same, and give him tip-offs when you discover possible publishers that would be interested in his style of photography.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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