Don’t take his tattoo gesture too seriously

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 19/09/2022 (1468 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I just found out my boyfriend of one year got my name tattooed on his left shoulder with angel wings. I’m a little horrified, but also flattered. I was shocked to see it at first, and blurted out that it was “stupid.” He’s mad and hurt.

What do I do now? It feels like a lot of red flags — but he’s also someone who cares. I’ve never had a guy care that much.

— Nobody’s Angel, West Kildonan

Dear Nobody’s Angel: It’s done now, and it would be a mistake to berate your boyfriend for it ever again. If you want to keep him around, apologize. Tell him you were shocked at first, but now you’re appreciating the compliment.

Are you aware he can get it removed, if and when he doesn’t want it anymore? If you break up, he might discover your name has to come off his body, especially if he has a serious new girlfriend who doesn’t want to see it.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m in my late 30s and recently started seeing someone. The bad news? I just tested positive on a pregnancy test. My new partner called me some nasty names, insinuating that I’m old and used him to get a baby.

He’s started pressuring me to get an abortion. I don’t want to, but feel like if I don’t get rid of the baby, I won’t see him again — or he might stay, and end up being a pain in my ass as the unwilling father for the rest of my life. Help!

— Shocked By My Pregnancy, Winnipeg

Dear Shocked: You already know this guy isn’t “the one.” Plus, you’re in your late 30s, know you want a baby and can support a child yourself. See a personal counsellor and doctor ASAP. You don’t need any more of this new boyfriend’s opinions to colour your all-important decision.

You may find a partner later you do love and trust, who becomes the father. There’s also the off-chance the sperm daddy may one day mature and also want to be a (part-time) dad. You are not stuck.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m an older man in my 60s and enjoying being single. My ex-wife was a pain most of the time. I only stayed because I vowed I would. When the last kid packed and left the nest, so did Papa. I thought my wife would be crushed, but not so.

Why not? That sneak had a man she’d been seeing secretly for years, as it turns out! On further research I found out she’d been seeing him on Monday evenings once a week, when I was at my club meetings. She claimed to be at a church meeting on the same night. I never went to church, so I had no idea what they did outside the service.

She’s pretending to be my friend now, and calls me regularly. How do I get rid of her?

— Polite Guy, Fort Rouge

Dear Polite Guy: Next time your ex calls, ask her quietly, “Why are you calling me?” Then wait a long time if necessary, for an answer. If she uses the “old friends” excuse, tell her you don’t want to be pals, and only to call you if there’s family business or the grown-up kids need help. Being dead boring gets rid of exes better than being openly antagonistic.

If she still calls after that, ask her, “What is the problem you need to discuss?” If she says “No problem, just wanted to chat,” then say in a boring voice that doesn’t invite a fight: “Well, good night then.”

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

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