From pesky twerp to cocky Adonis in one short winter

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This article was published 10/06/2023 (1198 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: My parents and I just opened up the cottage and I’m still trying to get over a shock. The youngest son from the cottage next door drove himself up, with a big load of stuff in a truck that was so old, it had to be his! How did that kid get a licence? He couldn’t even drive last year.

I was barely aware he’d cut teeth, last time I bothered to look at him!

Then he got out of the truck and started carrying big boxes into the cabin on his shoulders like they were nothing. He must have grown an inch a month last year, and slept beside his dumbbells. Now he’s over six feet tall, tanned and he knows he’s got it going on. Last fall he was all skinny legs and big mouth! I saw him down at the dock last September, loudly cursing out his older brother because the boat motor wouldn’t start. At the time, I thought, “What an idiot little brother.” Anyway, he came over with his dad to see mine — they’re old friends — and he was acting like he was just one of the guys. He really didn’t need to come.

He kept looking at me and he had a little smirk on his face the whole time — like he knows he’s hot now and that I must be impressed. Unfortunately, I can’t help wondering about the new him. So what’s going on?

— Shocked Lake Neighbour, Manitoba

Dear Shocked: Unfortunately, this young guy is right. He is hot stuff, compared to last year when he was a string bean with no muscles — and no driver’s licence. You didn’t even give him a second look then and treated him as if he didn’t exist. Now he’s finally caught your attention, and he knows it. He’s got something to smirk about, so you’ll just have to let him.

But there’s really more to this, isn’t there? You’re attracted to this guy, even though you think you shouldn’t be. You didn’t mention the age difference, although it’s likely he just turned 16 and probably has a part-time job to buy gas for that old truck. How old are you? If you’re up alone helping the folks, you probably aren’t much older than this guy who obviously likes you.

Don’t be rude to him. He’s just starting his dating life, and if you’re any kind of young woman, you’ll be kind, even if you don’t want to date him. Still, if I were a betting person, I’d wager you two will at least have a fling this summer.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I loved your advice regarding the mom whose daughter acts up in stores — advising her to take her kid home instantly upon bad behaviour. That worked very well with my two kids when they were little. You’re right — you only have to do it once.

I also used a preventive technique that worked well. On the way to the store I’d provide lots of information: “Today we’re going to buy groceries. I need apples, bread and peanut butter. I also feel like getting a small treat. Would you like Smarties or a KitKat?”

That reduces the child’s need to campaign and lets them know they’re getting a treat. It reduces anxiety for everyone. If it wasn’t the sort of trip that would result in a treat, I’d let them know that upfront. Of course, I always followed through on my end.

— Experienced Mom of Two, Manitoba

Dear Experienced Mom: I like the proactive style of your solution for moms whose kids holler in stores “campaigning” for what they want. Lots of times, busy moms just don’t have time to drive a kid straight home and abort a whole trip. Also, it must be noted there are a few stubborn kids who were born to the picket line, and one quick drive home from the store would not likely shift their behaviour for good. Bribes can work well with that type of child, but you have to keep them small, so they don’t get out of hand.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

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