Don’t keep flame burning for travelling troubadour

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This article was published 19/04/2025 (522 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I’m such a fool. My latest romantic fail was with a musician, who’s the king of using women like me.

He was in Winnipeg by himself for a few weeks, and I went with my mother to his mom’s birthday party, where he was the evening’s entertainment. He plays several instruments professionally — and he’s a great singer.

There was a lot of wine involved, so when he asked people to come up and sing with him, they happily did. Everybody was charmed and wanting more.

Two people with big money asked if he’d be able to stay in Winnipeg long enough to play at parties at their places. Later, I heard the price per party — and I gulped.

I knew he would definitely need a driver, so I quickly volunteered. That was the beginning of our romancing, before and after the parties. But then he just disappeared, and didn’t even answer his phone for 24 hours.

When he finally did, he was back in his own city. He said his mother bought him a ticket back home because she thought he would be “so tired and needing a break from the Winnipeg women.”

What should I do? He says he’s going to be back here in four to six months as part of his touring agenda. Is it stupid to forgive him for sneaking away and not calling me?

— Feeling Like a Groupie, St. James

Dear Groupie: Not all entertainers are flakes, but this one is. He’s fun and he’s a showman and was just playing a home gig for ma — until little ol’ you came around.

Now that gig is over and maybe he’s actually into someone back home or further down the touring road.

When he comes back to Winnipeg to see the relatives, he may give you a call, thinking you’ll be hoping to see him again, but he likely won’t expect it. He’ll probably think you don’t like the “here today, gone tomorrow” lifestyle that’s part of his world, and he may be right.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My ex-boyfriend — now in his 30s — is moving back home to our town with no family, just all by himself. I’m not married either, though I had a few close calls.

Apparently, he just got hired for a management job at the same place I work by the new boss, who is very new to our town. He obviously doesn’t know the community’s romantic history.

My noisy relatives are laughing their heads off. They never thought my quiet ex-boyfriend would be coming back to our town, and certainly not as a manager of anything, because I was a bossy teenager and I managed our relationship. What they didn’t know is that we were hot together, and he was the dominant one in private.

I’m wondering how we’re going to work this out when we run into each other on a daily basis. I’m thinking of greeting him with, “Hello, boss-man” at first, for a laugh. What do you think?

— Feeling Weird, southeastern Manitoba

Dear Feeling Weird: What makes you think this old love didn’t know what he was doing when he accepted the job back home under the same roof as you? Think about that for a while.

Also, re-think your introductory salute. Just smile when you say hello, but keep those nervous put-downs to yourself. Show your old boyfriend you’ve grown and that you hope he has too.

Instead of mocking him, let him know everybody’s older and wiser now and can work well together. After that, who knows what will catch fire.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

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