Take this as last warning to love her, or lose her

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This article was published 25/04/2025 (546 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: My long-term girlfriend has just given me the boot because I wouldn’t say “yes,” when she asked me to marry her. She even offered to pay half for a small wedding.

It’s not like she’s a loser. She’s a winner for me in every way, but she’s had enough. Now, she’s thinking of parting with me.

Through tears, she said I’d waited so long to ask her to get married that she was starting to appear unwanted and used, to her old-fashioned family. She has two girlfriends getting married this spring already, and everybody keeps asking her when she’s getting hitched. She’s not even that old — I’m 31 and she’s only 29.

I just liked things the way they were — especially having my own place, but now everything’s come to a head! I found out yesterday she has a deadline for me to ask her to marry her and give her an engagement ring. That has made me feel rushed and angry! What do you think?

— Man With Pride, Fort Garry

Dear Man With Pride: If you really love this woman, think about this. You can give her a ring soon and get married and be happy together, or you can stick by your single-guy guns and lose her.

Then, she will be hurt enough to marry somebody else, giving him all her love. If she’s “the one” you want to be with in a marriage someday, you’re on your last chance now! Be glad you were warned. If you do nothing now, you’ll lose her to someone else. And then, who will you be mad at for a very long time? Yourself — and that’s never fun.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: The weather is getting warmer, and some people can’t stand it — like my red-haired, fair-skinned husband. I’m the opposite — darker hair and skin tone, and I just adore the warmth, water and sunshine.

My husband has a computer-focused job and goes to our yearly rental cabin for a whole month, just for me — but he hates it! I spend the daytime on the sand with beach friends, tanning, swimming and enjoying the great gift of Canadian summers. My husband and I watch the sunset together, and make the best love of the year, especially now the kids are up and gone. I really enjoy our holidays.

But this year my husband has stubbornly insisted on being left home in the city for two weeks of the month-long cabin rental. He’s insisting I take my best friends — women he thinks are fun people, and they are — with me to the lake for the last two weeks. I’m on the fence. What do you think?

— Feeling Disappointed, Fort Richmond

Dear Disappointed: Your husband is offering you a fair deal. You’ll go with him for a week or 10 days to the lake first, and then invite girlfriends to come join you for the last two weeks. That means going home for a short turn-around, picking up city pals, and zipping back to the lake.

Then you can proceed to have a great time swimming, tanning, boating, shopping and touring around. At night, you can play games and barbecue, and make summer drinks. It’s a win-win situation. This way you and your man both get a full month’s holiday you can truly enjoy.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

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