Climb out of creative rut, explore the world

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I had a huge fight with my older brother several months ago, and he told me then he wanted me out of our family company. When I refused to leave, he said he couldn’t stand doing business beside me anymore because I was so bored and uninspired.

Then, more recently, he formed his own offshoot of the business with our father’s blessing. Now he’s doing really well and I’m sitting here chewing my fist wondering where I went wrong.

Last night I was lying awake thinking and I realized I gave up on my own dreams in order to earn the big money our dad’s company could offer me in my 20s. I was too young to be rich and it robbed me of my imagination.

Last week I told my dad that and he said, “I wondered if you would ever come to that conclusion, but I couldn’t say no to a son who wanted to work with me so badly.”

What do I do now? My dad asked me what I felt I had missed by going into business at 18, and I slept on it for a couple nights. Then it came to me — travelling.

I told him and he said if I wanted to travel he would match any money I was using for the trip, but he wanted me to only go to safe places. So, I agreed to start in Iceland, Denmark, Sweden and Norway. Got any advice for me?

— Novice Traveller, East Kildonan

Dear Novice Traveller: Travel has evolved so much over the last couple of decades thanks to smartphones and the ease of remote connectivity, so you don’t have to miss out on everything going on at home. You can still easily take part in company meetings thanks to videoconferencing apps, or stay informed of your brother’s business adventures.

However, going somewhat off grid and stepping a bit outside your comfort zone while travelling can be insightful and even help you better understand yourself and what you want out of life. Stowing away your phone and just taking in everything you’re experiencing while abroad can definitely help boost your creativity. It could even inspire some novel business ideas.

As you are a novice traveller, don’t feel embarrassed if you want to come home earlier than you planned. Travelling alone can be tiring, lonely and even boring, unless you meet up with some great people to explore with on different parts of your journey. Your family will be relieved and happy to see you again, even a month into your adventure, so come home when you want to, and don’t stay away too long just because of pride.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: All my life I’ve had a vision of a specific female who floats into my life and is “it” for me. Call me crazy, but I refused to marry any of my three serious girlfriends because they weren’t her. She came to me in my dreams and I saw her image at every stage of my life.

I couldn’t understand why I had such a strong picture of this woman in my mind, but I knew I’d recognize her physically when I saw her.

And I did. I met her in my last year at university and knew without a doubt it was her. She was amused at how much I knew about her or could guess accurately. It was like I knew her before in another world. She found that very amusing. We are so happy and in tune with each other now — and we’re married.

People laugh at me when I tell them about us, but my mate doesn’t anymore. She says, “I just accept the gift that life has given me — my man.”

I wish everything in my own life had been as easy. Now the only problem is I would like to have as many kids as possible, but my partner says she’s only willing to have two, as we’re in our early 30s now. What do you think?

— Destiny Couple, Winnipeg

Dear Destiny: You took your time getting together, but it was right for both of you once it happened. So why not take your time having a couple of children and really enjoying the start of family life. Then have a discussion with your wife about having another child — even adopting — or be finished growing your family.

Not many people have their perfect match just drop into their life as you did, even if it took a while. The secret is, you waited patiently.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.