Double-down on fun pursuits to sidestep bets

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I get a big kick out of my new mother-in-law who enjoys going out with her girlfriends to “gamble away the family fortune.”

She’s taken me out with these older ladies on the weekends and has even given me some “fun money” to blow. We often share the winnings — if there are any. That’s the part that really sets my husband’s teeth on edge.

We’re so newly married I still tell my man everything, but I am learning. This week he said he doesn’t want me training with his mom and her crazy gambling buddies.

My husband really should take a look in the mirror before criticizing others, as he himself loves betting on the horses. I don’t complain about his betting. The truth is I find him and his whole family a lot more interesting than my own relations, who are too strait-laced, religious and boring for my liking.

My question is how do I steer a middle course, have fun in my life and get my husband off my back over a bit of gambling with his mom?

— Restless New Wife, St. Vital

Dear Restless Wife: Consider having gambling outings with your husband’s mother (where you could lose a lot of money if you were seriously drawn in) take a back seat to other fun activities you might research and seek out.

For example, to satisfy your desire for a fun and fulfilling social life, you could introduce new pastimes such as a few of the innovative and challenging new board games that have really become popular in recent years.

If you’re looking for something to provide a similar rush to what accompanies a big gambling bet, you could consider skiing or snowboarding outings this winter.

And for a surprise romantic adventure, take your man out for a little winter star-gazing with some warm beverages, snacks and candles packed in the car.

For more alternatives to gambling-focused activities, consider jointly enrolling in classes to stir up your creative spirit, whether it’s arts, crafts, dance or learning to play musical instruments.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My new puppy was running around out in the sunshine within the bounds of my fenced backyard, yapping loudly at something above him. Then I saw a squirrel teasing him and running across the tree bridge spanning the lane between my yard and my new neighbours’ backyard tree.

The new neighbours were out doing some fall yard work recently, so I laughingly called out over the fence, “Watch out for the squirrel invasion!” and they invited me over to talk about it.

This poor couple was lonely, having moved into our neighbourhood this summer when many people on the block were away at their cottages. No one ended up stopping by to welcome the husband and wife to our street.

Should I ask them if I can show them around the neighbourhood and also help host a little party to introduce them? Or would that be uncomfortable for them?

— Friendly Neighbour Wannabe, St. James

Dear Friendly: Both ideas are great things to do for your new neighbours. Cities can be lonely places if longtime residents and new neighbours worry so much about saying the first hello that they end up not socializing at all.

So, yes — definitely talk to these new neighbours again. Head over on the excuse of properly introducing your dog (that fur ball they already know), Then share some tips about great spots to check out in the area.

Finally, bring up the neighbourhood party idea. Weekend afternoons in late fall are a great time for barbecues and parties, with the option to sit in or outside by a firepit.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

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