DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I had to go shopping at the city’s edge for a special birthday gift for my husband. I suddenly spotted my man’s unique custom-painted vehicle — and a passenger inside with long hair, wearing a baseball hat. Naturally, I honked, and I know he saw me, but he sped away!

I didn’t know what to do, so I phoned him, but he didn’t answer.

Then I went back home. An hour later he came home and said, “So now you know!” And I said, “Know what? What am I supposed to know?” And then he went silent. So did I!

He must have had someone with him in the car who shouldn’t have been there. It must have been a woman — but you never know these days. I don’t want to lose my husband and the father of my children!

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: Every summer my wife, who hates the heat, wants to buy a new house “with perfect air conditioning.” I’m happy with the fans we’ve got and refuse to shell out so much money.

This year she has decided she’ll accept my decision without complaining, but she’ll be sleeping in the spare room in the cool basement! I thought she was just kidding, but this evening when I came home, she was camped out in the basement with one fan ready “just in case.”

I can’t get to sleep without her, so I caved in and jumped in with her in the old basement. She rewarded me with the best sex we’ve had in years. Now what? I don’t want to sleep in the basement, but I want the hot lovemaking! What do you suggest?

— Temporarily Satisfied, But Confused, River Heights

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: Sometimes I just want to run far, far away — and I’m a grown-up!

I want a totally new career, like the one I dreamed of before I “settled” for the one I have. I married my wife pretty suddenly after we found out we were expecting a child. Then we had another kid and a third. It was all sort of a whirlwind and now I’m feeling like I’ll soon be too old to even consider a major career change.

When I’m showering to go to work these day, my wife — after getting our kids off to school — heads out to help tend to a community garden. When I see her after work, she gets excited talking about the garden and all the great people there, and I feel completely left out of the fun.

I also feel I should be ashamed of complaining about my work. I have an expensive education and a medical-related career to be proud of, but honestly, I’m bored stiff and feel like I can’t dare to talk about it and risk rocking my wife’s world.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I often get the giggles when I’m getting excited about having sex, and it turns my partner off. We’re not terribly young, but we are a newly together lesbian couple, and serious about loving each other.

I know I am less than the perfect intimate partner. I sometimes find sex one of the silliest things two people in love can do together, and my nervous giggling wrecks the whole process of making love. Please advise.

— Awkward, West End

Dear Awkward: Nervousness can make some people laugh during sensual build-up, especially if they start feeling unsure of themselves and what to do next. Unfortunately, a lot of giggling is a mood-breaker and can halt the whole thing! It can also result in the non-laughing partner feeling self-conscious or belittled.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: My wife came back to me and the kids again, vowing she’s off booze for good. She says she wants to be a better wife and mother. Ha, tell me another one!

The trouble is, I’d become weary between my job and doing all the work for our three difficult kids.

So when she called, begging for another chance, I said she could move back in if she was a good mother to the kids, cooked and cleaned for us all, and only if she took the spare bedroom.

I told her my private bedroom door on the third floor would be locked to her and she’d have to stay on the second floor until she proves she deserves to be trusted again. She said nothing in reply, but a few hours later a truck pulled up and she moved back in.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I have fallen for an amazing woman, but she has a problem deciding when to tell the truth. She says she used to be in a violent relationship with another woman, and had to please her or pay the consequences. She learned to lie convincingly to save herself from a beating.

I’m a non-violent woman myself and I got into my new woman’s life to rescue her! But yesterday we had an argument over at her apartment, and she slapped my back hard when I wouldn’t give her what she wanted. Suddenly, I realized it may well have been a two-way street with her violent ex.

Then she broke down crying and said hitting back was the only way to defend herself in her last relationship. She said she’d fallen for me because she could instantly tell I was a gentle soul.

She begged me to forgive her and said she’d never do it again. She’s terribly sorry, but I’m still thinking maybe I should still run from this new relationship. Sadly, we do have a lot in common and like each other’s kids. What do you think? This morning I saw her lurking near my place on the boulevard.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I have always slept naked and felt totally free between the sheets. But now I have a new girlfriend with young children, and she says adults should be dressed in pyjamas for bed, in case there’s a problem in the night.

She says we might have to help a crying kid having a nightmare, get a sick pet down to the vet in a hurry or chase off an intruder trying to steal something. This puts a whole new spin on going to bed in anticipation of having an exciting time together.

I’m younger than my new girlfriend and have no kids of my own. I live in an apartment with a backstairs fire escape. I never think about getting into trouble at night unless I’m voluntarily going out for the fun kind.

Isn’t my girlfriend going too far, telling me what I have to wear to bed? I really like her a lot. What do you suggest?