DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I’m a working mom in my 50s and I love Winnipeg in the summer — all the cultural festivals, concerts and crazy events it has to offer.

So I told my 20-something kids I would come out to our lake cabin for only a couple of June and July weekends, but then join them out there with their dad as well for an unbroken two-week stretch in late-August.

However, I worry I’ll just be cooking and organizing while I’m out there! My bossy eldest daughter made up a cooking schedule, so everybody has a special dinner where they have cook, organize people to bring things, run the barbecue and entertain with a group game afterwards. It’s going well for July, but nobody has signed up for duties in August when we’ll all be out there to enjoy the last of the summer.

I spent summer after summer covering that entire duty calendar for my kids, so it’d be nice to actually relax when I’m out there later this year. So, now what?

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: When I was a young bisexual guy going to university and working in bars at night, I was surrounded by new people — guys and girls all the time.

There were a lot of great late-night parties after work, and I always had my eye on somebody new. I was never lonely in those days. Where did all that fun and happiness go?

Now I’m a few years older with a career and don’t need a job as a bartender to help support me. But it seems like there’s nobody around to meet, other than at bars.

Also, I’m realizing that while there are lots of straight people out there looking for fun and relationships, it’s hard to convince them that I could be true to them alone, being bisexual. But I’m true to whomever I’m with — and I only want one lover at a time.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: My girlfriend is beautiful and has a top-heavy body that just won’t quit — and she knows it.

When we went to the beach last weekend, people stood staring at her as she came out of the water in her striped bikini. I really don’t know how to react when this happens. I feel like running up and covering her assets with a towel.

I just want to grab her and say, “She’s mine,” even though I know she’s loyal to me and it would only get me in trouble with her. How can I cope better with this?

— Jealous Guy, Grand Beach

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I spotted an old girlfriend at the beach recently, and what a jolt. She was tanned and gorgeous. She had a pink towel wrapped around her lower half and it reminded me of when she would walk towards me with a sexy look on her face after a shower. She always knew what she was doing and how it affected me.

We didn’t end up chatting at the beach, but to my surprise she called me later that day, asking to take me out to dinner. What should I do? We were a great pair, except for her excessive partying and drinking. I didn’t ask her if she’s being a good girl now. Please advise.

— Curiosity Aroused, West Kildonan

Dear Curious: The more mature version of this ex might be interesting for you — if she has actually graduated from her bad old days of partying. You’ll probably know after a dinner out with her, especially if you have a couple of cocktails.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I was feeling smothered by my girlfriend — she wanted to be together 24-7 and that was just too much. I told her that. Her reaction was to tell me a month later that she was pregnant.

I was trapped. That just stressed me out and made me worry about what would happen in my life if I married her. I was in hell.

Then she broke up with me. I told one of her friends at the bar, and she took pity on me. She told me that she was not supposed to tell me the secret, but my girlfriend was never really pregnant. She was faking early symptoms to put me through some hell.

I still kind of love that girlfriend, but I want out for good because she’s crazy enough that she would do anything to trap me and keep me around. Still, I dream about her. How can I get over her?

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: When I lived in Vancouver, my parents were both messed up on drugs and drinking. To survive their craziness, I spent all my spare time as a teenager working hard at different jobs. The day after I graduated high school, I hitchhiked with a guy I knew casually all the way to Winnipeg for a cool job I found online.

We became great friends on the road. He took me to meet his family at their house and they invited me to live in their basement suite. I happily paid rent and felt like I had a new family.

But now, here comes trouble. My parents have gotten sober and want to move back to Manitoba — their original home. They’re hoping I will welcome them back into my life.

Fat chance. I grew so sick of them, I don’t really want a reunion. But now, my girlfriend is curious about my “new and improved” parents, as she calls them. She wants to meet them face-to-face.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: My husband lost his mind at a cottage while on his own. He went up there alone to finish a technical book he’s writing and to get away from the racket at home so he could concentrate.

It should have taken him no more than two weeks to get it wrapped up and off to the editors. Then the plan was I would bring our kids up to join him, and we would all be there for a great summer holiday together.

Instead, I got a phone call from him saying he had an emergency and the cabin owner was going to throw him out and cancel the time with the rest of the family if he didn’t pay full rent immediately.

I yelled at him, asking where all the money went. Before he left, the told me he was taking a bunch of cash for the owner and was going to pay for the full amount of time when he got there.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I can’t stand any more of this sweaty weather and neither can my boyfriend. Lately he has been sleeping nude on the balcony of our highrise apartment from sunset to sun up, and then he’s back inside in front of a fan.

Yesterday, he got an unsigned lust note in our mailbox from somebody in a neighbouring building who has been spying on him with her binoculars and knows who he is.

I would like to respond with a sign out on the balcony telling her what she can do with her binoculars. What is your advice?

— Not Laughing, Winnipeg

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I come from a hot country where we showered a lot — we don’t like being sweaty. We’ll sometimes hit the shower three times on a hot day. We usually have a quick shower every morning, another after work, and a final one when getting ready for bed. We’ll even have a fourth after sex.

It’s only takes a minute or two each time. We don’t end up using much more water than our longtime Canadian friends who tell us they only shower once a day or bathe twice a week, but they seem do it for a much longer duration.

One Canadian guy told me he only showers on Saturday nights before he goes out with friends. Tell me he’s joking. How can people stand their own smell if they don’t bathe or shower every day? What do you think?

— Clean and Cool, Fort Richmond

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: With my encouragement, my chubby wife lost 45 pounds over the winter and spring. She also joined an all-female running group.

Last night she had the nerve to tell me she needs more sex as part of her physical rejuvenation. That turns me off somewhat — like I’m one of her exercise machines.

But if I don’t join her in her “more sex” campaign, would she be hurt and depressed and then gain back all the weight? She’s become really attractive-looking again, like she looked before she had our kids. She could actually probably get another guy if she tried.

If I knew she would become so sexual and demanding, I wouldn’t have bugged her to take the weight off. I was complaining about this to a friend I golf with, who is on his second wife and knows everything about cheating.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: My new boyfriend wanted a key to my place and I told him, “Not yet — we just met. It’s too soon.”

So, last night I came home from playing tennis and there he was in my little house sitting in my new recliner. He was eating a bag of chips, drinking a beer and watching TV.

He laughed when he saw my shocked face! Then he said, “Hello, beautiful! I just let myself in. You must be hungry. Can I make you something to eat?”

I said, “You’re acting like you live here, but you don’t. Where did you get my house key? You scared me!”

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I want my wife back! I ran into her at a wedding recently, and she was as brilliant and charming as ever. She has also lost the extra weight she put on while married to me. I loved her cooking and baking!

She now looks like she did when I first met her and was actually quite pleasant with me — but she’s always been quite the charmer. But at the end of the night when I tried to kiss her, she withdrew and said quietly, “I’m sorry. Not in this lifetime! That chapter is over for us.” I was hurt and felt embarrassed.

I realize I lost her because of all my bad habits, not just drinking. Now she’s letting me know she wouldn’t come back to me even if I cleaned them all up. I know she used to love me a lot because she’d say it all the time. That’s part of why I married her! True love never dies, I hear. Was she lying?

— Suspicious, St. James

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I’m a musician, and I swore I wouldn’t get involved with anyone else this summer after having my heart broken again.

The woman who ditched me took off for a music scene elsewhere. I hope she never comes back! I heard by the grapevine she already had another guy during the months she was with me. I don’t know who, but I can guess.

My problem is another woman is chasing me hard already. Although I need the sex and she’s fun, I’m too afraid to see anyone. I’m still feeling messed up. Sometimes I hear love songs and cry like a fool. Still, my saving grace is playing music — something I’m good at and love. It heals me to an extent, but the really sad songs can bring me way down, even while on stage.

I’ve also just been asked to join a new band. Part of me wants to do it, but another part of is afraid to because I’m still so broken up inside. Women can be easy to come by in this scene, but I just don’t have the strength to take a chance at getting hurt again. Sorry for sounding like a big baby!

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I didn’t know my wife was in the house when I was talking to my brother on the phone about her new bathing suit “which makes her look like a tank.”

She walked up behind me while I was on the phone and said loudly, “I guess you won’t want to be having sex with a tank at the lake then!” No amount of apologizing is getting me past this one, it seems.

The temperature is rather frosty in our bedroom, and we leave for the lake in two weeks. Should I invite her to criticize my imperfect body? I don’t want to do that, or I’ll never be able to sleep with her again. Please help!

— Big Mouth, East Kildonan

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: My wife’s Vancouver relatives just left, heading off for a holiday on the East Coast.

We hosted a party before they departed and I must say grandma — who now lives with my wife’s parents — was the most fun. And she’s a piano-playing musician to boot.

I also noticed she smelled like she had been hitting the bottle. As the party bartender, I had been instructed before everybody arrived not to serve grandma any alcoholic beverages, but other people were having lots of drinks out by the pool. It didn’t seem fair.

So why not just include her?