Cool compromise makes for hotter nights

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: Every summer my wife, who hates the heat, wants to buy a new house “with perfect air conditioning.” I’m happy with the fans we’ve got and refuse to shell out so much money.

This year she has decided she’ll accept my decision without complaining, but she’ll be sleeping in the spare room in the cool basement! I thought she was just kidding, but this evening when I came home, she was camped out in the basement with one fan ready “just in case.”

I can’t get to sleep without her, so I caved in and jumped in with her in the old basement. She rewarded me with the best sex we’ve had in years. Now what? I don’t want to sleep in the basement, but I want the hot lovemaking! What do you suggest?

— Temporarily Satisfied, But Confused, River Heights

Dear Confused: You need to know when it’s in your best interest to give in to a love partner. For the sake of three months of cuddling and great sex — with no arguing about uncomfortable summer heat — why not relent and join your wife in the cool basement bedroom?

It could be a good deal for both of you. If the basement bedroom is a little drab, now’s the time to fix it up as a great summer oasis for the two of you. It’s high time for a second honeymoon right at home!

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My live-in boyfriend just bought a men’s string bikini online. He modelled it for me right away and I shrieked! It leaves nothing to the imagination. I have seen men’s bikinis before, but nothing like this thing. It’s barely a cup and a string.

I said, “I hope this thing isn’t leaving this bedroom. You could get arrested for indecent exposure!” He just laughed. How can I convince him to throw that string-thing out?

He refuses to promise me he won’t wear it at the beach. I’m thinking I should just steal it. What do you think?

— Embarrassed Already, St. James

Dear Embarrassed: No need to steal your guy’s tiny bikini. Just tell him you’ll need to take two vehicles to the beach in case he has any ideas of wearing that “string” when you’re with him. And you won’t be the one to bail him out if he’s busted for indecent exposure. That should cool him down!

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I hate the sun and the summer heat, so I just bought a great new air conditioner that brings the temperature down low, the way I like it for sleeping, which is just cool enough to need a light blanket.

My new partner unfortunately likes a warmer bedroom than I do. He insists he wants a window open for fresh warm air in the summer — no matter what the temperature outside. The only thing we agree on is this: We don’t want to sleep apart and have to go looking for each other in the night!

What’s a solution for us? We are newly in love and really enjoy sleeping as close as possible.

— Lovebirds’ Different Needs, Garden City

Dear Lovebirds: Some couples with different comfort needs in the summer equip one person with a light summer blanket or sheet, while the one who needs it cooler sleeps without a blanket a few inches away. Who knows what will happen as each night progresses — but that’s how they start out!

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.