DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: A big handsome man recently moved in next door. He’s been chatting up both me and my girlfriend (she lives on either side of him).

His wife just arrived from B.C., and she’s delightful and fun. She says, “Don’t mind my husband, he ‘s a bit of a flirt. He knows I’ll hire someone to break his legs if I catch him actually doing anything!”

She’s already working full-time in finance downtown. He tells us he’s an experienced dance teacher and he plans to offer lessons or dance-related workouts for women in his big basement space. I told him I know a lot of women who might be interested, and now he’s asked me to put him in contact with those people.

Whoops! I feel awkward doing this — giving an almost-stranger my blessing and helping him launch his biz. I don’t really know what he’s like as a teacher. Should I help out or not?

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: My mother is coming to visit and our little kids want her to sleep in their bedroom, where there’s a double bed and a single. My husband thinks this idea is ridiculous and says grandma needs her sleep, but I disagree.

I remember sleeping with my grandma — who’s now with the angels — and she told us grandkids (two girls) some wonderful bedtime stories she made up herself. She even put our names into them, making us the stars of the stories.

The best part was getting into our pyjamas with our grandmother, who showed us the magic cord from the little thing that ran from her near-deaf ear down to the secret battery pocket hidden in the bra of her slip. It made her hear us better in the daytime. We thought, “Wow!”

Not surprisingly my own mother has inherited her mom’s fantastic storytelling talent and who knows what else she has to teach the kids when she’s alone with them? I want them to be close.

MOON ALERT: Caution! Avoid shopping (except food and gas) and important decisions after 9 a.m. today. After that, the moon moves from Libra into Scorpio.

ARIES (March 21-April 19)

Discussions with partners, spouses and close friends will be exciting but unpredictable. You might also meet a real character — someone exciting. Alternatively, someone you know might do something to surprise you. Check moon alert!

TAURUS (April 20-May 20)

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: Recently, a new couple with no children moved onto our cul de sac, and everybody is taking notice! This attractive pair with no kids both drive amazing cars, work from home and leave their garage doors up a lot. Everybody on the street walks by to sneak a peek into the big garage at just about any time of day.

Lately, the man’s been out on his front lawn in a muscle shirt in the late afternoon, planting shrubs and putting up stylish fall-themed ornaments. At night they often leave the living-room curtains open. That makes for convenient viewing for curious neighbours like us!

A few days ago, my wife invited the new couple over for a barbecue and swim in our pool. They are really nice people, but mentioned that other people nearby have been pretty stand-offish. They wonder why. Should I tell them it’s probably just jealousy over their beautiful vehicles and enviable lifestyle, or should I just shut up?

—Wanting to Help, Sage Creek

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I just got out of a relationship a few months ago, and I’m still so hurt that life seems unreal.

The woman I thought I was going to marry cheated on me with an old boyfriend — a real jerk, but very good-looking. I’m still feeling totally crushed.

I worry I won’t be able to trust any woman now. I know that sounds unfair, but I’ve been cheated on twice before, in just five years! I realize it might just be the type of person I’m attracted to — a bit on the wild side — but my most-recent girlfriend wasn’t like that and seemed to have her life together and knew what she wanted. But she was also secretly playing around on me — Mr. Clueless.

I can feel resentment building inside me toward all women. I really don’t want to become one of those bitter guys who ends up single for the rest of his life because they don’t trust anyone. But how do I get over this? Is it even possible or am I going to be a loser who is forever cheated on?

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I’m almost 40, and one of my closest friends who was jobless for three years is once again earning decent money again — but she’s still acting like she’s broke!

I don’t care how people spend their money, but she still expects me to pay for her. For instance, if we go out for lunch, she’ll ask if we can do a 75-25 split, with her paying the lower amount. She also comes to potlucks with nothing to share, and then has the nerve to ask to take food home. She will also ask me to cover something and promise to pay me back, but then I have to hound her for weeks to get the money!

But it really took the cake recently when we went to a concert and she asked me to cover her ticket. Then she bought two T-shirts at the merch table! It feels underhanded to me — and insulting to my intelligence. It also feels weird to have to bring it up to her. We’ve been besties since high school —many, many years ago. Please help.

— Taking Advantage, Riverbend

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I’m married to a woman who’s older than I am, and it’s the second marriages for both of us. She’s beautiful, even after having what she calls “a few nips and tucks.”

Seriously, it was more than a few.

Her former husband insisted she had to appear a lot younger than him — so ridiculous!

I’ve never seen even one picture of her when she was not wrinkle-free.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I mourn the end of summer every fall, but this year it’s far worse. My partner (a man, like me) broke up with me and my menagerie of animals.

The hardest part is that he still calls me before he goes to sleep at night — to see if I’m OK, and to tell me essentially, to buck up! Nothing like losing somebody and being told to be happy about it by the exact person you’ve lost.

He goes on about his new life and the people he’s meeting, and sometimes I just have to hang up on him.

Why does he bother calling? It seems like he maybe doesn’t know if he’s completely through with me yet, so he’s using me as a crutch. (Do I sound bitter?) What can I do?