Age-old Advice: Unplatonic

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 24/12/2016 (3493 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Personal Problems by Mrs. Elizabeth Thompson, published July 5, 1935

Dear Mrs. Thompson:

I am a girl of 16. Until slightly over a year ago, I was what many people might term a neurotic. Since then, however, I have somewhat modified my views on life and people in general, and as a result am happy and reasonably bright.

This change was mainly wrought, I am convinced, through the efforts of a school teacher. Taking me in hand, both in and out of school, he gave me an understanding and logical advice. I must confess I began to look upon him with something akin to hero-worship.

He is married. Until recently not a word other than pure friendliness had passed between us. Now, however, whenever we meet or attempt to discuss anything in a frank, easy manner as formerly, he attempts to kiss me or put his arm around me. I have never thought of him other than as a teacher or friend, and certainly my actions have not given him reason to carry on like this.

Of late he has been particularly insistent in his love-making and I have been unable to cope with him. I am even beginning to welcome his advances. I am quite friendly with his wife, and never dreamed that anything of his nature would come to pass. I have tried to avoid him, but as he teaches me several subjects that is impossible.

What am I to do? He is still friendly and congenial, and helps me excessively in every way, yet will persist in attempting to kiss or paw me. I am sure he was sincere in his attitude towards my difficulties. Am I at fault? And what am I to do?

-Perplexed.

Dear Perplexed: You are still only one jump away from being a neurotic, and tend to dramatize yourself unduly. Don’t imagine that this teacher cherishes a genuine grand passion for you – have you by any chance been reading about Heloise and Abelard?

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This is only a very temporary flare-up on his part. No doubt you didn’t intend to vamp the young man, but the adoration of a pretty girl your age is rather a heady drink, and it is impossible to keep intimate discussions about souls and personalities on a purely academic level.

You didn’t realize what a strain you were putting on the platonic relation, so your conscience can be clear regarding the past. But you know now that you are treading on dangerous ground and it is your duty to keep the present safe and sane.

Summer holidays should bring a natural solution for the problem. School is over. You don’t have to see the teacher. Even if he lives near you and suggests further talks you can make excuses. If either of you go away for a while, so much the better.

By the time September comes around, you should both have found something more important to think about. A friendship with a boy around your own age would be a good thing. Not only would it take your mind off this unhealthy emotion but it would put the older man in his place.

Stop visualizing yourself in the role of home-wrecker; get out in the fresh air and give yourself a chance to be normal.