Show that bear you care

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This article was published 07/08/2019 (2571 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I’m scared stiff of bears and complain about it all the time to my boyfriend who bought a rustic cottage in the woods. Last weekend, he secretly brought a black bear costume up to the cottage. When I woke up alone in the bed Saturday morning, I peeked out and saw this big bear sitting on the deck, in a big chair. He was reading a newspaper and wearing big glasses — I have never laughed so hard in my life.

My guy knows just how terrified of bears I am and was helping me in his silly way to get over it. I knew at that moment how much I loved him, and that I’d marry him one day.

He has been hinting about tying the knot, and I was slowly getting used to the idea of a marriage and kids, but now I know how special he is and what a wonderful husband and dad he will be.

Am I scared of bears anymore? Heck, yeah! But I love the one I’m sleeping with. Just had to brag to somebody. — Loving My Special Bear, South Winnipeg

Dear Loving: Once in a while, a special person comes along and you suspect they’re the right one — and then they do something that just flips your heart inside out. That is a moment you will never forget, and that bear story will be passed down through the generations. Maybe you can come up with a surprise for your sweetheart before the summer is out!

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I agreed to give my kids a whole summer at the cottage. Their dad was delighted and said he’d come out most weekends. Ha! That hasn’t happened.

Our marriage has been in trouble since last spring and I can guess why. I don’t know her or his name (yes, there’s some question), but he stopped making love to me last spring — nothing but lacklustre maintenance sex.

Last weekend he came to the lake and refused me sex both nights because he was too tired. I said, “Who are you really being true to? Why don’t you tell me the truth?” and he said, “Believe what you want.”

My big question is this: Should I hire somebody right now, while I’m still at the lake, to see what he’s up to? I know some security guys at home in Winnipeg and one of them might do some private work for me.

Spying seems nasty, but not knowing, and being so far away — even though we’re staying by the most beautiful lake on Earth — is just killing me.  — Staying For the Kids, Lake Country, Manitoba

Dear Living: It makes sense to use a private investigator type who knows what they’re doing, to find out if this is truly happening or not. 

If there’s an affair going on, you’ll want to confront your mate as soon as you get home. But make sure the children are not in the house to hear that fight. Hearing crying and parents saying hurtful things to each other can do lifelong harm to kids. Take them to their closest relatives and leave them there for a night or two.

If you have to do something now, from the lake, phone and set up some marriage counselling and a visit to a domestic lawyer and accountant your husband doesn’t share.

If you find out for sure your husband is cheating, and you’re too distraught to bear it, you may want to head home from the lake, but research some fun activities in the city for the kids to do so you can keep them busy once they get home.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6. 

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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