Grey Cup date puts the ‘pig’ in pigskin

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 06/12/2019 (2456 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: This year was my first trip to the Grey Cup. What a great time! Calgary fans were so welcoming. So was this certain guy — or so I thought. He was so much fun. We partied for the three days I was there. Then we met up at the game.

I’m a true blue Bombers fan. He was not. As the game progressed, I saw a side of him that bothered me. He became more and more angry, yelling at me and others in a scary way. I tried to lighten things up, but he looked at me and said, “Don’t talk to me. You better watch what you say around me, lady!”

Then he said, “Leave me alone!” So I did. I walked off.

Now I’m back in Winnipeg, he’s calling and texting me non-stop. One of his texts read, “I should not have to be made to feel bad, I’m a true, passionate fan, but not of the Bombers.” I want to tell him to go suck a football! Or should I not respond? 

— Mad About Nothing, Ha!

Dear Mad: You could indeed tell him to go suck an egg, a football, whatever, but then you put yourself at his level.

You’re rightfully upset about his bad behaviour, and you need to ditch him totally online and everywhere else. He expresses his overwhelming angry emotions, coming from somewhere else, towards sport teams he doesn’t like, and people who don’t fall in with him. Football is past being a game for him — it’s become a vehicle for shouting and verbal violence. Just block him.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My wife is a funny person who makes jokes even when she’s half-asleep. At first I thought it was a kick to be with a comedian for life, but she’s ridiculous.

I don’t want to be woken up with some little joke twice a night. She even dreams funny things in her sleep. I was going to suggest she start doing comedy, but wouldn’t that just rev her up even more?

— Overkill on the Constant Jokes, Southdale

Dear Overkill: Actually, getting her into the active comedy world might address her need to always express her humour to you, and you’d stop being her audience of one.

If she’s not too shy for comedy beyond the house, and you’re subtle about nudging her, this could work: start taking her out to local venues, such as The Handsome Daughter and Wee Johnny’s open mics on week nights, and to Rumor’s Comedy Club on the weekends to see people who make their living in the biz. Give her support and hints!

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: Crazy coincidence! My ex-boyfriend showed up as the date of one of my friends at a wedding we both attended. He was not sitting at my table, but I spotted him, and my God, he looked great. He’d lost his paunch and muscled up, and when he asked me to dance, I practically fell on that body. He still had the same sexy, low voice.

I broke up with him because he was living in his friend’s basement, was “between jobs,” always depressed and eating like a pig. Then there was the beer. Now he’s cleaned up his act, has a career started and seems to be on top, and I felt turned on to him again.

Trouble is, he wasn’t reacting to me the way I reacted to him. When we were dancing and I had my head on his chest (he’s very tall), he said in a funny tone, “Your boyfriend is not going to like me for this.” I’d had a few drinks and I mumbled something like, “So what?” and he sat me down at the end of one dance.

Then he said, “Sorry, bud” to my new boyfriend as he went back to his table. So what’s up with that?

— Cold Shoulder or What? West End

Dear Cold Shoulder: More like the cold chest, and that still means you need to take the hint. You dumped him when he was down and he’s not feeling grateful to you.

He wanted to show you what you are missing these days.

By apologizing to your new boyfriend, he was telling the guy and you that he wanted nothing more to do with you, beyond the one dance to make that point.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave. Winnipeg R2X 3B6

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

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