Admit it, you’re not for teacher

Opinion

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 13/01/2020 (2099 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: My sexy young teacher has seeped into my brain and owns me. She is on my mind all the time. I don’t learn anything in her class but sit there sketching her, daydreaming about her, or wondering if, secretly, she likes me, too. Before Christmas she caught me drawing her in a Mrs. Claus outfit, lifted one eyebrow, and suggested I “put that away.” So now she knows. What is she feeling? I have another class with her this term.

I think she has a boyfriend who is older, and looks like a real bore. I saw him after a school function picking her up. He could have been her father — bald head. I secretly hope he was, but they held hands on the way to the car, not that I was staring or anything. I’m a big guy and felt like picking him up, and throwing him like a wrestler across a ring. Not that I would ever do that. I’m actually a non-violent guy, though I look like an athlete.

How can I get her off of my mind? I can’t afford to drop her class, or even do poorly in it, as I need the grades to go to university next fall. It doesn’t help to know half the guys in our class also have crushes on her. I know it’s hopeless, but she’s my obsession and I waste a lot of time thinking about her and looking at her. Please help. — Brain Consuming Crush, Winnipeg

Dear Consuming: Dads don’t hold hands with their daughters when they pick them up after function, so that bald guy probably wasn’t dear old Pops. She’s taken. Tell yourself, “One day I’ll find a woman, kind of like Ms. So-and-So. She’s just a template — a kind of model — for what I want one day.”

If you simply can’t get over her, try to expand. Start actively looking to add to your list of girls/young women you’re attracted to, so this out-of-reach teacher isn’t the only crush at school. The more girls you find you like, the less important this female teacher will become to you.

Next year, fresh pools of women will open up at university. As long as you get involved in extra-curricular activities where they are, instead of just going to classes and going home, you will meet them. Good luck!

 

 

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I just saw a guy steal a bottle of liquor in a store and I was so scared he might be armed with a knife, I didn’t say anything. I was scared he would attack me! But now, I feel really guilty for not warning the store clerk that he would be trying to sneak through with it. What should I do now? — Needing to Tell Somebody, Winnipeg

Dear Needing: If telling me and my readers isn’t enough, phone the liquor store involved, and tell somebody, and describe the guy as best you can. He may be back. At least, get it off your chest that way. It’s a bit late now to catch the guy, but if the same thing happens another time, you should quickly and quietly tell somebody working in the store.

The most dangerous thing a person can do is go racing after the thief in the parking lot. Some people have been known to run right out of the store yelling, “Thief!” It’d be extremely dangerous to try to stop a theft your own. Your safety is worth far more than saving a stolen bottle of liquor.

 

 

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: This is for the man calling himself Scared It’s Like Mother, Like Daughter, who says his wife has become a “fully abusive screamer” now their kids are teenagers — screaming obscenities just like her mother did to her, when she was a teen.

(That man, when he was much younger, shut his girlfriend’s screaming mother down fast by threatening to call the police for the verbal abuse of her children. In my response, I suggested he give his now-wife exactly the same threat as he gave her mother years ago. — Miss L.)

I think his wife may be in pre-menopause with imbalanced hormones wreaking havoc on her brain. Add teenagers to the mix and it could be enough to set her off.

If she is a stay-at-home mom, she may need to get out and do some activities on her own without the kids.

But, on top of counselling, which may uncover PTSD from living with her own screaming parent, I would suggest she sees a naturopath who will do a blood test of her hormone levels which may guide her to taking some supplements which will help balance out the meanies. — My Thoughts, Manitoba

Dear My Thoughts: Thanks for your thoughts, but it’s interesting this woman started screaming and swearing — loud, obscene verbal abuse — just as her kids became teenagers, exactly as her own mother had done to her, like it was OK now they were older. Her mother was miraculously able to stop when her daughter’s boyfriend seriously threatened to call the police and have her charged for verbal abuse of the children.

Now this man has become the father of verbally-abused children, and (he also said in his letter to me) he’s not a poor man and would take the children from his wife and leave if necessary.

This does not sound like a need for a naturopath. This is a repeated pattern — like her mother got away with for some time and then was able to stop on a dime when threatened with legal interference. The grown daughter, now this man’s wife, is screaming at her teenagers, and also needs to be stopped by her husband, if possible, and made to get help.

She needs to see a psychiatrist recommended by their physician (psychiatrists can prescribe medication, but there are wait lists) or a psychologist (they can’t prescribe, but you can phone them on your own).

Workplace group insurance may pay — fully or partially — but some will name the psychologist they want used.

 

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.