Ideology and in-laws make for volatile mixture

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 29/04/2021 (1994 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My girlfriend hates my family. Over the last two years she’s gone over to far-left politics. She feels she’s morally right on every issue.

Before the pandemic, she initiated a number of nasty political confrontations with different members of my politically conservative family.

I want to start visiting them again when we’re all vaccinated, and I want her to go with me. She says, “No way!”

Now I feel exactly as stressed out as I did before the pandemic hit, and I feel like the writing is on the wall. Is she ever going to change, or is it over? — Love My Family, The Maples

Dear Love My Family: Look down my imaginary “Road of Life.” First picture you, your friendly wife and your kids going to visit Grandma and Grandpa, aunts and uncles, and young cousins for happy family get-togethers.

Now look down it a second time and picture yourself walking to a get-together occasionally — just you and the kids — your wife always staying at home. That could be you, if you stick with this girlfriend.

Partners don’t have to agree with extended family on all things, but they have to learn to “button it” on certain issues. Some families agree not to discuss three potentially touchy areas — politics, religion or money. There are many other things to talk about, plus games and activities for adults and kids, and good things to eat and drink. No need to argue and fight!

You can’t drag this girlfriend to family gatherings and ask her to like them again. You could, however, find another woman who loves you and enjoys your whole family. Why not opt for the bigger picture?

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My young husband seemed to have no great need for me sexually anymore, and spent way too much time on his phone in another room with the door shut. He said they were work calls.

Then there were the long “drives” he said he was taking to “settle his mind” after work, so he could come home in a good mood.

Ha! I may be young (23 on my last birthday) but I’m not stupid! My best friend told me to check his mileage. I did, and that jerk is not taking long drives anywhere.

I borrowed my friend’s car, wore my mask and a hat pulled down low, and waited for him in his parking lot at work. A woman came out with him, and they got in her car, kissed passionately and drove off. I didn’t need any more proof than that.

He swears she doesn’t mean anything to him and it’s only me he loves. He’s begging for another chance.

We don’t have any kids yet, and I thought we had a great sex life until she came along. What do you think? — Broken-hearted and Confused, St. Boniface

Dear Broken: Your young husband thinks you should forgive him because he just had sex for the sake of variety and didn’t have any emotions for this girl.

But, he also stopped making love with you and spent his spare time at home sneaking off to chat with her by phone.

This kind of fast talker is only mad at himself for being careless. This is not a man to live your life with, feeling insecure the whole time. It will make a mess of you emotionally.

He’s certainly not the one to be the father of your children, because he can’t be trusted with the responsibility. He may be the kind of guy who’d drop the kids off at the hockey rink and go visit his women on the side.

You know this already, and there are no children to hurt and upset yet. Don’t waste any more time with him!

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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