Cold-hearted son deserves to go it alone

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 03/08/2021 (1883 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My 24-year-old son is putting us at risk of getting COVID-19. He lives at home and has made his decision not to get the vaccine. He also believes the pandemic is blown out of proportion. In his words, “It’s thinning out the ill and the old.” Well, his parents are both!

I was so taken aback, I told him. “I’m thinning out our household, so start packing your bags.” I gave him two weeks to find somewhere else to live. He called me a “sheep” and some other choice words — and his best friend took him in to stay that very night. His friend is also an anti-vaxxer.

I know the fear of contracting COVID is real. I’m concerned my son, the party boy, will be in line for the delta variant. I’m also afraid for us. My husband and I are double-vaccinated, but we have serious underlying health issues.

Now I’m trying to deal with my husband who’s upset I put his baby boy out. In a moment of terrible anger, I told him to pack and go with him.

He said, “No way! You move, and take your big mouth with you!” I snorted and gave him a dirty look. Now my husband and I are barely talking, and the tension is thick. I know I wasn’t overreacting, but what am I to do?

— Alone in My Quest for Safety, North End

Dear Alone: At 24, your son is more than old enough to move out and become a man. His cold-hearted “survival of the fittest” theory doesn’t take into account his parents’ compromised health, so don’t feel guilty and start begging him back.

You can meet your son at outdoor places, wearing a mask to be extra safe and a bit more relaxed. If he questions it, say “my choice reflects your choice.” Experts say there’s around a five per cent chance of catching COVID for double-vaccinated folks, though it’d be a milder case if they got it.

Don’t apologize for trying to keep yourself 100 per cent safe and comfortable in your son’s presence. And don’t let this disagreement break you and your husband up. Your son will soon be enjoying living outside the crib and secretly glad he got the boot!

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m a man who thought he was not just a good lover, but a great lover, because I had staying power. My new wife told me the other day I’m “tiresome” and that it’s “not a long-distance event.” As soon as we stop having sex, she leaves me in bed and goes back to the living room to click on the TV. That’s what she really loves now.

All I’ve been doing is trying to please her, but she isn’t pleased with anything. Why didn’t she say something before we got married, if she didn’t like my sexual style? It hasn’t changed. She sure seems to like the financial perks, but she hasn’t been nice and sweet to me since about three months after the wedding, and she acts sort of depressed and bored with me.

— Feeling Unwanted, Winnipeg

Dear Unwanted: Don’t be afraid to go in the living room, turn off the TV, and insist on a serious talk. Was she faking her enthusiasm before the marriage, and this is really how she feels about you and your sexual style? Has she lost feelings for you and consequently is not getting turned on in bed? Does she now have physical discomfort during sex? Or is she tired of you and sorry she got married?

The answer to these questions may not make you happy, but at least you’ll know what’s going on and maybe you’ll want to get some counselling help — or maybe not. Some people love the engagement and wedding, but find out they don’t love the marriage.

Send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6. 

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

   Read full biography