Slowly try to re-engage with wider world

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 14/03/2022 (1662 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: Winter has been good for me because it gave me an excuse to stay inside. Trouble is, I think I’ve developed a phobia about going outside. I have everything delivered now and I’m perfectly happy inside my castle. Today I got a phone call about going back to work in-house. Although I didn’t say no, I’m scared stiff!

Truth be told, I work in a pretty safe environment and I’m triple-vaxxed. Still, I almost choked on the words when I responded that I’d go in. What can I do to prepare myself? I’m due there in a few weeks.

— Scared to Re-Enter the Fray, East Kildonan

Dear Scared: Start today by going out solo for walks — first, around the block and then further every day. The idea is to learn to enjoy the outside world again.

Then add a vaccinated close friend to the picture, and walk together. Next stops are little shops — with few people in them, but you’ll wear your mask inside. Gradually open your world up like this.

Then, one fine day before you start back at work, drop in. Workplaces are, for the most part, being careful and you will likely find that eases your discomfort. Even as things open up, there will still be a fair amount of mask use, especially if people have to greet the public.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: Like all retired teachers, I’ve encountered many different names for kids. (I suggested “Expecting Mommy” should save unusual ones for middle names.—Miss L.)

My recommendations to prospective parents? Consider the spelling, look at what a possible name rhymes with and what nicknames can it be shortened to and judge whether it flows with the last name.

My name is Maureen, like yours. I never went to school with another Maureen. At one time I wanted to be a Lorie, Linda or Debbie.

— Just My Two Cents, Manitoba

Dear Two Cents: The names preferred at the time I also grew up were the names of movie stars. The first name you and I share may have been inspired by Maureen O’ Sullivan, who played Jane in the Tarzan movies. We could have done much worse!

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I too am a widow, and blessed with friends who want to see me happy and fulfilled, like the widow signing off as “Not a Commodity on the Marital Market.” (I suggested the lady bluntly tell the matchmakers to stop.—Miss L.)

What these friends don’t realize is everyone grieves in their own time and space. This is my advice for her: tell your well-intentioned folks you’ll be ready to date on the “12th of Never” and that you will be happy to let them know when that day comes. In the meantime, ask them to enjoy you as their single friend.

— Been There, Still Doing That, Winnipeg

Dear Been There: What’s interesting is this: people who want to matchmake for widowed friends don’t necessarily have great marriages themselves. How can they get inside another person’s heart and head and pick for them?

For some people, one marriage was more than enough, and they chose complete freedom instead. That’s not the same as choosing loneliness!

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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