Quash kids’ summer party-pad plan gently

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This article was published 02/06/2022 (1532 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m stressed and need to get away from the city badly. My boss, of all people, has suggested I rent a cottage for two or three months, and work remotely. I am a single-again woman, and love the lakes and beaches.

Moving to the beach for the summer would leave me with an empty house in the city, and two “kids” in their 20s who are campaigning to move back home to babysit the house and pool. They suggested a rental fee of $400 — $200 each for the entire summer! — and were disappointed when I laughed out loud. They thought I’d be getting a deal!

My offspring are two party-loving types, you should know. The $400 would only cover cleaning and repairs of broken stuff after they left. They swear that’s not true… anymore.

A friend of mine, who’s finally writing her thesis, wants to rent the house for that period. I’m seriously considering it. What do you think?

— Love My House and My Kids, North Kildonan

Dear Love My House: Tell the kids it’s their partying friends who would be dropping in with “refreshments” that you don’t trust. They probably suspect you wouldn’t be foolish enough to leave them a party house and pool for the summer, but you don’t have to be rude about it.

So, tell your offspring they can hold onto their current digs this summer, then add that your quiet thesis-writing friend will be looking after your house 24-7. You might tell them you’re charging her more than they offered, but don’t say by how much. A bidding war the kids could never win would be pointless!

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I think my wife is having an affair with her best female friend. I wasn’t suspicious in the beginning because the other woman is married to a guy who works way up north.

My wife has become best buddies to the point of having weekend sleepovers with this woman, who’s also in her 30s.

She says she feels sorry for “her poor friend, who is left all alone.” Yeah, sure. I’ve stopped buying that story. By the way, we live in an empty house and I’m always lonely. There are no children because my wife didn’t want them. I regret agreeing to that, as I enjoy my nieces and nephews.

Anyhow, last weekend when she had another “sleepover” I went over there and banged on the door. No one answered, but both their cars were there. It was about 10:30 p.m. and no lights, except something dim in the kitchen. I went home finally and phoned my wife’s cell a few dozen times, finally stopping at 3 a.m.

She came home the next morning looking tired, and was not talking. I hadn’t slept at all. Finally, I asked her if she was having an affair. She hesitated a little too long and said, “With a woman? Are you nuts?”

I feel sick to my stomach and don’t know what to do. I promised to love her for a lifetime, and I’m a man who keeps my promises.

— Miserable Husband, Norwood

Dear Miserable: You may be a promise-keeping man, but this marriage is not working for either of you. Consider the facts: your wife is regularly staying out overnight; she isn’t sympathetic to you; you’re deeply unhappy; you share no children; and your wife seems to have one foot out the door already.

It’s time you saw a counsellor or psychologist, first, by yourself. Then try to get your wife to join in at least one session with you, or go to somebody of her choosing. If she says “nothing doing” you’ll want to find a good divorce lawyer.

The positive side? You’re still in your 30s, so there’s time to find a new love relationship, and even have a family with children. Use your current misery as impetus to finally make some necessary decisions.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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